2013 in review! Cheers…

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 46,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 17 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.



Wait a Minute, WordPress!

Look at this cutout from my stats! According to our esteemed WordPress, I’ve had one visitor, but he or she originated from four countries(see views). You are you trying to kid, folks?


Update From Ralphie’s Portal.

Ralphie´s Portal

Home to the Zany and the Wacky Dodo! © [Ralphie A Burcke and Ralphiesportal], [2011]

I just now published the three thousandth post on Ralphie’s portal and I thought this merited another blog post!

Some numbers today, October 15th 2013:

3.000 posts published.

3.356 comments received and given.

88.803 views according to WordPress(, according to Flagcounter 111.944??)

473 followers and counting.

Not too shabbily done from my co-authors and I, even if I do say so myself. Do keep coming, dear readers!

Virtual Conquest of the World…

Oceans of the world

Oceans of the world (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ralphie’s Portal’s virtual conquest of the planet is gathering speed, I’m happy to say. Never fear, I shall be a benign Lord!

One of the three inhabitants of Greenland, Mister Yugglefrugly, has seen fit to pay nominal tribute to us, which is only fitting. What took you so long? Mister Ping Pong, tableperson (they’re funny that way) of Pong’s Republic of China has graced us with a visit. Maybe he’s afeared of the might of the Wacky Dodo!? Admiral Togo isn’t, for he’s been around. Even the last remaining British Virgin has taken a blushing peek from her Islands. So that’s where you hid her, lads!

No news from the North Pole though, methinks the bears have gone on strike. And those stuffed shirts from Antarctica have been strangely silent aswell. No, not a quack from the Penguins! Could somebody wake up the inhabitants from middle Africa, please and instruct them to log into our portal, even if only for a laugh. I was going to complain about the middle of Canada not wanting to know us, but then I realised they’re lakes and apparently aqua-internet is not a fashion yet. (why not, pray?)

What are those islands on top of Norway, does anybody know? If they haven’t been claimed yet, I’ll be happy to oblige. Or is it a secret? In which case I apologise to the NSA… What’s the US doing in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? I was glad when I saw that, what I thought was Micronesia had joined us, but WordPress told me it’s America aswell. You do get around, don’t you! Listen, I’m not a great puzzler, but couldn’t we fit Iceland in those lakes in the middle of Canada? Might be slightly warmer over there for them. Right, my bad, global warming will probably turn it into a tropical paradise.

Toodeloo, I mean Bye, not that I have to go to… from the Wacky Dodo.

Crossed the 100.000 Page View Mark!

According to the flag counter on Ralphie’s Portal, we have just crossed the 100.000 mark for page views. Why this does not correspond with our official site statistics from WordPress I do not know, but what the hey… I am happy as a pig who is wallowing in his own droppings! But definitely less smelly. 🙂

I tried to import the image of the flag counter here, but the format is not allowed(bitmap). If anybody would like to install a flag counter on their own site, please go to flagcounter.com. It’s free, easy and classy(yeah, baby!)

I’d like to thank our esteemed readers for their visits and my fellow authors on the site here for their tireless efforts.

<a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/41999914@N00/5598172” target=”_blank”><img title=”Personalizando WordPress 1.5″ alt=”Personalizando WordPress 1.5″ src=”http://farm1.static.flickr.com/6/5598172_b520a7bb47_m.jpg” width=”240″ height=”159″ /></a> Personalizando WordPress 1.5 (Photo credit: juanpol)

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Dutch Poets Invade WordPress!

Wordpress Button Closeup

WordPress Button Closeup (Photo credit: Titanas)

Two Dutch poet friends of mine have started a WordPress blog. If you speak Dutch and like poetry, check them out:



Apparently a Dutch platform called weblog.nl is calling it quits and most of the users from there will be coming here. Prepare yourselves!

Here are some more:



Let’s Get Up to 50.000 Visits!

Wordpress Button Closeup

WordPress Button Closeup (Photo credit: Titanas)

Work with me, People! These are the WordPress stats for Ralphie’s Portal so far:

48,507 views all-time

Totals, Followers & Shares


1,913 Posts



27 Categories

5,104 Tags

Followers (includes Publicize)

274 Blog


23 Twitter

34 Facebook

Starting The Hug-Chain!

WordPress Schwag

WordPress Schwag (Photo credit: jeckman)

I’m thinking to myself: here goes nothing again(probably, but what the hey. If you don’t try, you’ll never succeed.

I am hereby sending a cyber-hug to three people on WordPress and I would ask them to each pass on three hugs to other people they know(not necessarily on WordPress). They in turn to pass on three hugs to their friends and so on!  And if you break the chain, you’re a partypooper!!! Who or what could it possibly harm? Are you all up for it?

Let our hugging span the globe! Spread the word, share the warmth, give a hug!

1. poeticlicensee.wordpress.com

2. marinakanavaki.wordpress.com 

Just a bit of harmless fun, folks!!

Wordads is “on” for Ralphie´s Portal!

Personalizando WordPress 1.5

Personalizando WordPress 1.5 (Photo credit: juanpol)

Ladies and gentlemen, dear readers,

This site has been running for a year now and I have and am still enjoying it immensely. I thank all the visitors for their interest and hope they shall continue to visit. Furthermore, I have met many interesting and lovely people here on WordPress and from elsewhere. However, I am extremely poor and it is for this reason that I have applied for Wordads to hopefully make some money with this blog, because being on the streets is not an ideal situation for me. I hope and pray that this does not inconvenience you too much and that you shall continue visiting regardless!

Hugs and such from Ralphie.

Sunshine Award(twice) and Creative Chaos Award!

First of all, I want to apologise profusely  to dear Tania from the TANIAJESSICASMITH site and good ole Roly from the Sarchasm2 site for being so tardy in responding to their kindness in awarding us respectively the Creative Chaos Award and the Sunshine Award. Although my life has been very hectic indeed around here, that is still no excuse for having waited so long. A very belated heartfelt thanks to these wonderful people! — Can I please get up from my bended knees now? No, not yet. Ok, I’ll stay down a little while longer then. — Btw, I greatly deserve the chaos part of the Creative Chaos Awards, I think!

And secondly I would like to thank the lovely Hope from The Stay At Home Philosopher site for nominating us a second time for the Sunshine Award, which she probably wouldn’t have done had she known that we’d already received one, but there you go. Two is always(in the case of awards anyway) better than one.

Now comes the scary part, where I have to reveal about myself…or about the other authors on our site 10 little known facts:

1, I don’t know WTF is Alan Rickman. Did he play in Mash?

2, I have a Gran, who has a broom and a black cat!

3, I have good friend, who is a wonderful poet and is called Lieven.

4, I have shoesize ten.

5, My Gran has not! Correct me if I’m wrong, Gran…

6, Our lovely Polly here knows a lot about witchery(and so does my Gran!).

7, I love strawberries with whipped cream.

8, I like women covered in whipped cream!

9, I am now daydreaming about… uhhmm… strawberries(nice save, wasn’t it?’)!

10, If anybody gives me any lip, I’ll set my Gran on them!

And here I am, still on bended knees— May I? No, still not. Ok!—, with tonight’s nominees for the Oscars: Creative Chaos Awards, in other words for procrastinating in a most creative fashion:






I am still here, starting to get cramps— Oh come on! Still nothing doing? Auch! — to divulge the names of the nominees for the Sunshine Award, or in other words for those who made me smile with their wit and/or knowledge(although the 5 aforementioned ones also did!):











All fifteen nominees appeared in no particular order, by the way! — Can I get up now? Yes, good. Oops, I’m stuck! Gran, somebody, call someone to help ole Ralphie get back up, please! —

X 2

Let me state, for the record, that Ralphie’s Portal is a team effort and that it is largely due to my co-authors that so many visitors stay interested in us, for which I thank my friends from the bottom of my heart!

P.S.: To whom it may concern: Please, no more awards for us, ’cause these ones nearly killed me!

Wonna Have Some Automated Speech Fun?


SitePal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This was sent to me by a friend of mine. It’s cute to try the demo and should you wish, you can get a 15 day free trial to create your own automated messages with virtual characters to enhance your site!

<Click here!> to use the demo, where you choose the language, the character(male or female), the duration, pitch, length of the message and so on…
Note that the character follows your cursor with his/her eyes!

SitePal is an easy-to-use service that allows you to create a speaking avatar for your website and empower your online communication.

Your Five Minutes of Fame?

29 Minutes of Fame

29 Minutes of Fame (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Getting your blog read is about coöperation, is it not? What if, by working together, we could guarantee that your blog would be read on a given day in the future, by all those who decide to join in this endeavour? I propose that we solemnly promise to go visit each site that joins this effort on the day that is appointed to it, on the basis of “first come, first served”. On this day, every other “member” would first of all post a link to said weblog and actually go and read all their latest work.

Let us start on the first of May, to give us the time to get organised. I will not keep a calendar, the first blogger to agree to this procedure only has to comment on this blog post by putting a link in the comment to their home page, plus the date, which would obviously be May, 1st. The second one to reply would get our combined visits on May, 2nd and so on..

It’s just a thought, anyone up for it?

Let me recap:

1. You automatically agree to the following procedure by commenting on this blog post. Others, please abstain!

2. First blogger to join posts a link to their home page and the date: May 1st. Second one idem ditto, but the date is May 2nd for them and so on.

3. On May the first all the participants post the link to the home page of the first blogger to join, on their own blog AND go and visit said blog and read as much as possible(+comment, like, etc…)

My sister and brother bloggers, united we stand!

Second Liebster Blog Award.

For the second time since its august inception in the early sixteen hundreds, this blog has been lucky(or perhaps charmed) enough to be granted this award by one of our peers. I hear you mutter: “Sixteen hundreds????” Yes, dear readers, it is a proven fact that my ancestors were blogging on bog-paper long before the internet reared its technological head. Sadly, most records of this have been lost due to hygienic necessity.

I am certain that the granting of said accolade is entirely due to the influx of new blood on ralphiesportal. New blood, who by their endeavours have brought us to the notice of the general public at long last. That this feat was helped by a little  magic, is neither here nor there. I shall now proceed to enumerate the five lucky winners of this German bestowal, namely:






Now, there only remains for me to effusively thank the  donator of the second honouring of our site, the magnanimous, the ever-present, the non-elusive:


P.S.: It is only lack of time and an extreme case of laziness, which prohibits me from listing all the wonderful blogs that I absolutely love, here on our very own Wordpres!