Where Linda almost kills me!

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Did I tell you that Linda almost gave me a heart attack about a week ago? I’m going to get as many Linda-stories in as I can, before she takes leave of me for good, going to her new home in Germany. Every morning, I open one eye and already with my left hand I take Linda’s lead to take her for a wee and her morning doodahs. This particular morning I was in a bit of a hurry, because I myself had an appointment with Mrs. Nature, who can be a cantankerous old cow. She is prone to some nasty practical jokes, if you keep her waiting. I assure you that I am not being facetious, when I say this!

But Linda wouldn’t have none of it and took her merry time, as per usual. There was an elderly couple that she insisted on saying hello to. The man was sitting down on a bench by the side of the road and his wife(of long-standing, one would suppose) was appropriately standing by his side. Linda sniffed the gentleman’s hand and he petted her and his wife smiled in appreciation. After Her Majesty had done the necessary, we headed back to West Virginia or thereabouts, anyway.. homeward bound! But I digress and I shouldn’t do that, seeing as I had an appointment.

On our way back, the couple was coming from the opposite direction and my dog recognised the friendly gentleman. This time however, she put her two paws and her full sixty-four pound weight on the little old lady’s chest and toppled her over! What happened next, I perceived as if it were in slow motion. There was a big rock behind the lady and she plopped down on it, using it for a chair, so to speak. But then she started falling sideways. Thank the heavens that her husband came to the rescue and straightened her up. My heart was beating like a jack hammer! I should have sprung to the lady’s aid pronto, but I seemed to be paralysed.

Fortunately, the woman was unharmed and tut-tutted that I should not make a big deal out of it. However, all the while, I was envisaging all that could have happened! You know that some old people have brittle bones. The lady might have broken her pelvis or some other bones. Linda was unaware of any mishap, but I was a mess. All the ramifications of the consequences of what might have come to pass went through my mind again and again. I will not enumerate them here, because I still feel faint, whenever I think of it. Linda managed to drag me home and it took the rest of the day to see me right.

I shall care extraordinary care, whenever I meet octogenarians on the road, whilst accompanied by this pooch, I can tell you that! Let me just state, for the record, that Linda meant to harm whatsoever. She is a year old and is boisterous and wants to play. That is all. It is only that she doesn’t know her own strength!

That very same evening, I took Madam to the beach, where I take her off the lead, because nothing untoward can possibly happen there! Or can it? We were on our way back and Linda was about fifty yards in front of me. It was pitch dark, because there was no moon out. All of a sudden I hear somebody shouting in Spanish to get this blasted dog out of his vicinity. I run towards the mayhem and would do I see(and hear!)? A lone man was fishing and had thrown his catch on the ground next to his feet. Linda thought this very considerate of the angler, for leaving a lovely snack there for her.

The man was not enthused, to use an understatement. He shouted that he was supposed to sell these! His swearing was quite colourful, let me tell you! I apologised profusely and dragged Pooch-who-was-in-a-pickle-now away from there. The worst thing was that I had such a hard time refraining from really laughing out loud at this hilarious episode. I fervently scolded her, for the man’s sake. But when we were out of hearing I fell over laughing and Linda licked me merrily, with a breath that was not very aromatic. Or rather it was, but not in a rosy way! So far for the tales of Linda for this day, folks.

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