What if the Lord came back today?

"Cleric, Knight, and Workman": the t...

“Cleric, Knight, and Workman”: the three estates in a French medieval illumination (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What if the Lord came back today?
What do you think He would say?

What if the Lord looked into your heart…
And told you not to hate in His name!

What if He came and looked into your eyes?
Would you hold His gaze or look away?

What if Jesus Christ came back…
and nobody listened, nobody cared?

What if He came back today,
and decided not to stay?

Bedtime Prayer!

Lord, I want a lot,

a whole lotta cocoa,

to dump in the Milky Way, Lord!

Could you stir it, Lord? Please…

And a very long straw,

one that reaches till my bed, Lord,

so as I can slurp and slurp

and burp and slurp some more, Lord,

uhmmmm…until I snore, please, Lord!

Before Night Falls.

Fall Foliage

Fall Foliage (Photo credit: jdn)

Before night falls,
before the end of day,
oh, my dear Lord,
please listen to my prayer!

Tomorrow is another day.
I must go, I can not stay.
Oh, my dear Lord,
please show me the way!

I will follow the morning star.
Never fear, go back nor cry.
Oh, my dear Lord,
I will follow the morning star.

Forgive me, my dear Lord,
for these days just passing by.
It is not easy to find new passion,
when you leave your love behind.

By Wolf, Avignon 2004.

Hooter Prayer! – LOL

Lord, I would like to specify that they should not, I repeat NOT be attached to my body!

But… they should definitely come attached to someone.

And… that this someone should be of the opposite sex.

Did I forget anything, Lord?

Hah! This someone should be human, Lord!

And alive, Lord!

Preferably non-artificial, Lord!(the boobies, that is, Lord)

Please, Lord, no tomfoolery when it concerns the sending of the boobies, Lord!

This is NOT a SPAM-message, Lord!

Amen, Lord.

From Gothic Pandemic

From Gothic Pandemic


St. Peter Tempera on wood, 312x105x4, Russian ...

St. Peter Tempera on wood, 312x105x4, Russian Museum, Sankt Petersburg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From Funny Jokes and Pictures :

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

A Different Future?

Go to the Future

Go to the Future (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

RE-arranging particles of energy

into an unfamiliar pattern,

trying to change a future,

but force is not the answer.

Instead on loves them into being.

A gentle flowing stream of events,

of gathering up threads from the past

and re-aligning them along the road

that lead to that shining light,

which beckons in the far distance.

Allow, not coerce the pieces of the puzzle

to fall into place, with tenderness and gentle grace.

Recognizing mistakes and giving them the chance

to correct themselves of their own accord.

All, I’m sure you’ll understand,

within the precepts of the Lord.

I have found a way around Makhtub:

What is written, can be re-interpreted!


¨>strong>My Dog.

A dog with no name

A dog with no name (Photo credit: chrischapman)

My dog, he knows me well,
I swear, he can tell at a glance,
whether he should stay or advance,
Waits for me to collect my thoughts,
while I add up my ones and naughts.
Or he’ll nuzzle me with his snout,
as if to say: “Move, ya big lout!”

My dog, he loves me so.
I can tell by his gentle eyes,
so very caring and so wise.
By the wagging of his tail,
he faith in me shall never fail!
He listens to me with one cocked ear,
As if to tell me: “You mustn’t fear!”

My dog, I need you so.
You, who are the sunshine of my soul.
Without you, my life would have no goal.
I thank the Lord each and every day,
for having met you along the way.
You, you melted my long frozen heart,
I pray you and I will never part!

My dog, you are my rock.
If ever before me you should go
and I face alone my greatest foe:
of being stranded here without you,
so sad, so lonely and ever blue,
you’ll be the one who faithfully waits
to walk with me through those Pearly Gates.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?


Worried! (Photo credit: photoloni)

There is a word in the Arab language called ‘makhtub` and it gives me the willies! I heard that it is mentioned in the Tora somewhere aswell and it means”It is written!” Which is to say that from the moment you are born until you expel your final breath, everything you say, feel or do is pre-destined. If you truly grasp the enormity of this concept, you want to just lay down and die, for what is the use of ever trying!?

I hear you saying: “But the Lord gave man the freedom of choice!”  What choice is that, when everything was written down even before you were born? And even if you choose to live as good a life as you possibly can, what if you get caught up in circumstances beyond your control, as many of us are?

Let us say you are a father or a mother, who works hard every single day to provide the best things in life for your children and for your partner and then you get caught up in a war (probably over some silly dispute concerning religion) and you and your family are subjected to the most horrifying ordeals, being innocents? What kind of deity lets these kinds of things happen?

And on the other hand the nasties are thriving, probably because the devil takes care of his own. Whichever way you look at it, I choose to stay on the good side, whatever happens, but it makes me doubt everything and yes.. it makes me angry! Why do bad things happen to good people?It is so grossly unfair! But then, who ever said life was fair?

What about worrying? No amount of worrying has ever changed the outcome of any given situation. Yes, but were are human after all. Sometimes I find myself wanting to kick my own behind for having worried over something, when after all the anxiety, what I wanted or needed came to happen in the end anyway. But there is never any guarantee, is there!??

My biggest worry is: Am I going to die on the streets like a dog, like so many of my friends, or will the Lord grant me some more happy years? In any case, I shall ignore Makhtub and do my damndest to ensure that the outcome be positive! On this upbeat note, I hug you all. Ciao from Ralphie and may the Light be with you!

Do You Pray Like This? – Joke.

Ironing board

Ironing board (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By darkice123 on the Experience Project.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

“Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.


Present from Lieven 32.

Pint of stout from pdphoto.org

Image via Wikipedia

Lieven Grillaert

Come, sons of summer, by whose toil
We are the lords of wine and oil;
By whose tough labours, and rough hands,
We rip up first, then reap our lands.
Crown’d with the ears of corn, now come,
And to the pipe sing Harvest Home.
Come forth, my lord, and see the cart
Dress’d up with all the country art. Continue reading

Present from Lieven 30.

Drawing, prepared black chalk on off-white wov...

Image via Wikipedia

Lieven Grillaert:
“We nailed the hands long ago,
Wove the thorns, took up the scourge and shouted
For excitement’s sake, we stood at the dusty edge
Of the pebbled path and watched the extreme of pain.

But one or two prayed, one or two
Were silent, shocked, stood back
And remembered remnants of words, a new vision,
The cross is up with its crying victim, the clouds
Cover the sun, we learn a new way to lose
What we did not know we had
Until this bleak and sacrificial day,
Until we turned from our bad
Past and knelt and cried out our dismay,
The dice still clicking, the voices dying away.”

Present from Lieven 20.

Global paleogeographic reconstruction of the E...

Image via Wikipedia

Lieven Grillaert:

Great Streets of silence led
To Neighborhoods of Pause
Here was no Notice, no Dissent
No Universe, no laws

By Clocks, ’twas Morning, and for Night
The Bells at Distance called
But Epoch had no basis here
For Period exhaled.

Present from Lieven 10.

earth’d up, here lies an imp o’ hell,
planted by Satan’s dibble;
poor silly wretch, he’s damned himsel’,
to save the Lord the trouble….,
16 years cannot be doomed,
only youth will be mistaken

damn darn damn