FromThe World According to Atlas Submitted by Lawrence 🙂 A preacher wanted to earn money for the building expansion program of his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter him in the races. However, at the local auction …
Tag Archives: jokes
Paradise Lost! – Joke
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news… Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below …
Famous Last Words! – Joke
Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she …
High School Reunion? – Joke
From “funny jokes & pics “ I noticed his diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon …
Little Johnny – Joke
From “funny jokes & pics “ Teacher: “Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?” Little Johnny: “None.” Teacher: “Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?” Little Johnny: “None.” Teacher: “Can you explain that answer?” Little Johnny: “One …
Sailors – Joke
From thesower on Experience Project: Two sailors were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boats provisions, one of the men came across a little lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared. …
What Is Politics? – Joke
From “Funny jokes & pics” A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the …
Wife Rules The Roost. – Joke
From climber1 on Experience Prohect: Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, ‘Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman.’ ‘Oh yeah?’ said Charlie, ‘And how did this one end?’ ‘When it was over,’ Mike replied, ‘She came to me on her hands and knees.’ ‘Really,’ said Charles, …
PERFECT PUNISHMENT! – Joke
From Funny Jokes and Pictures : Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the …
The Perfect Man. – Joke
From ronanp on Experience Project: A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Brian” Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Brian Sullivan. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed …
Blonde Man Jokes!
From Boxersoff4u on Experience Project: A friend told the blond man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” The blond guy then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.” ———————————— Two blonde men found three grenades, and they decided to take them to a police station. One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?” …
Facebook tests ‘pay to promote post’ tool! – LOL
From BBC Technology. <Click Here!> to read more. Facebook has started testing a system that lets users pay to highlight or promote posts. By paying a small fee users can ensure that information they post on the social network is more visible to friends, family and colleagues. The tests are being carried out among the …
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Yes, Ma’am! – LOL
I wonder it that is still the case these days!?
Joke That’s NOT for Blondes! – LOL
Joke: A man walks into a bar and says “Ouch!”. Short and to the point!
scenes for a marriage ….. sven and lena, part 1
Originally posted on myguiltypleasures:
Sven was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. Sven hurriedly dressed and told his mistress to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put…
Political Jokes – LOL
And they’re hardly ever funny!
Held Hostage
Originally posted on The Square Flea:
Hello everyone, Ann Archie is currently unavailable because she has been kidnapped by something called Procrastination. We -her highly trained secret service body guard SEALs Batman Bear team – are working hard to bring her back. Please refrain from crying loudly, we are doing the best we can. Since…
Hunting Flies Joke!
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies,” He responded. “Oh, killing any?” She asked. “Yep, three males, two females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked:” How can you tell?” He responded, “Three were on a beer can, two …
Pay Increase – Joke
Swiped this joke from YourMysticGirl on EP. The maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Gloria, why do you want a pay increase?” Gloria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.” “The first is …
Nuts! LOL
Poor little tike, anything but that!
Alphabet LOL
That would really be a feat!
Sarky Pooch LOL
You know, Mary, that pooch is one sarcastic son of his mother!
Crocodile LOL
Serves him right, the philanderer!
Observant Toddler LOL
This one should become a comedian when he grows up!
Toilet Procedure! LOL
Me: Start – sit – Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you!
Cat ‘n’ Mouse – LOL
Is it a kitten or is it a mouse? Ain’t that the funniest lookin’ critter I ever did see!!?
Catz – LOL
It’s Ralphie, Sam!
Mazzeltov! LOL
Phew! I almost broke the vase…
Hangin’ With Friends – LOL
This is Ralphie trying to get a bear hug!
Help, my Black Hole is Pulling me in! LOL
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