U.S., Wake Up!!!


From I fucking love science:

Congratulations to Germany for breaking their own record last month in harnessing solar energy!
By the end of 2012, Germany was ranked #1 for solar energy production per capita at 400 MW per million people while the United States was ranked #20 with only 25 MW per million people.
The United States is expected to double their usage of solar power by the end of 2015….
Check out our new YouTube show here: http://bit.ly/1f7BMZ

Your Yearly Dementia Test! – LOL

English: Bricks in a wall.

From  deleted on Experience Project:

It’s that time of year to take  our annual senior
Citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is  as important as exercise of
The muscles. As we grow older,  it’s important to keep
Mentally alert. If you don’t use it,  you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or
Non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to  determine if you’re
Losing it or not. The spaces below are so  you don’t
See the answers until you’ve made your answer. 
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1.  What do you put in a toaster? 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If  you said ‘toast,’ give up now and
Do something else.
Try  not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to
Question 2. 

2. Say ‘silk’  five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do
Cows drink? 

Answer: Cows drink  water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t
Attempt the next question.  Your brain is
Over-stressed and may even overheat. Content  yourself
With reading a more appropriate literature such as
Auto World. However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to
Question  3.

3. If a red house is made from red  bricks and a blue
House is made from blue bricks and a pink  house is
Made from pink bricks and a black house is made from
Black brick s , what is a green house made from? 

Answer: Greenhouses are  made from glass. If you said
‘green bricks,’ why the hell are  you still reading
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to  Question 4.

4. It’s twenty years ago,  and a plane is flying at
20,000 feet over Germany (If you will  recall, Germany
At the time was politically divided into West  Germany
And East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two
Engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last
Remaining  engine is also failing, decides on a crash
Landing procedure.  Unfortunately the engine fails
Before he can do so and the  plane fatally crashes
Smack in the middle of ‘no man’s land’  between East
Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury  the

Survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man’s

Answer: You  don’t bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a  dunce and you
Must stop. If you said, ‘You don’t bury  survivors’,
Proceed to the next question. 

5.  Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus
From London  to MilfordHaven in Wales . In London , 17
People get on the  bus. In Reading , six people get
Off the bus and nine people  get on. In  Swindon,  two
People get off and four get on. InCardiff, 11 people
Get  off and 16 people get on . InSwansea, three
People get off and  five people get on. In Carmathen,
Six people get off and three  get on. You then arrive
At Milford Haven.
What was the  name of the bus driver? 

Answer: Oh, for crying out  loud!
Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!! 

Now pass this along to all  your friends and pray they
Do better than  you.
PS:  95% of people fail most of the  questions!! 

Where Linda almost kills me!

by commons.wikimedia.org

Did I tell you that Linda almost gave me a heart attack about a week ago? I’m going to get as many Linda-stories in as I can, before she takes leave of me for good, going to her new home in Germany. Every morning, I open one eye and already with my left hand I take Linda’s lead to take her for a wee and her morning doodahs. This particular morning I was in a bit of a hurry, because I myself had an appointment with Mrs. Nature, who can be a cantankerous old cow. She is prone to some nasty practical jokes, if you keep her waiting. I assure you that I am not being facetious, when I say this!

But Linda wouldn’t have none of it and took her merry time, as per usual. There was an elderly couple that she insisted on saying hello to. The man was sitting down on a bench by the side of the road and his wife(of long-standing, one would suppose) was appropriately standing by his side. Linda sniffed the gentleman’s hand and he petted her and his wife smiled in appreciation. After Her Majesty had done the necessary, we headed back to West Virginia or thereabouts, anyway.. homeward bound! But I digress and I shouldn’t do that, seeing as I had an appointment.

On our way back, the couple was coming from the opposite direction and my dog recognised the friendly gentleman. This time however, she put her two paws and her full sixty-four pound weight on the little old lady’s chest and toppled her over! What happened next, I perceived as if it were in slow motion. There was a big rock behind the lady and she plopped down on it, using it for a chair, so to speak. But then she started falling sideways. Thank the heavens that her husband came to the rescue and straightened her up. My heart was beating like a jack hammer! I should have sprung to the lady’s aid pronto, but I seemed to be paralysed.

Fortunately, the woman was unharmed and tut-tutted that I should not make a big deal out of it. However, all the while, I was envisaging all that could have happened! You know that some old people have brittle bones. The lady might have broken her pelvis or some other bones. Linda was unaware of any mishap, but I was a mess. All the ramifications of the consequences of what might have come to pass went through my mind again and again. I will not enumerate them here, because I still feel faint, whenever I think of it. Linda managed to drag me home and it took the rest of the day to see me right.

I shall care extraordinary care, whenever I meet octogenarians on the road, whilst accompanied by this pooch, I can tell you that! Let me just state, for the record, that Linda meant to harm whatsoever. She is a year old and is boisterous and wants to play. That is all. It is only that she doesn’t know her own strength!

That very same evening, I took Madam to the beach, where I take her off the lead, because nothing untoward can possibly happen there! Or can it? We were on our way back and Linda was about fifty yards in front of me. It was pitch dark, because there was no moon out. All of a sudden I hear somebody shouting in Spanish to get this blasted dog out of his vicinity. I run towards the mayhem and would do I see(and hear!)? A lone man was fishing and had thrown his catch on the ground next to his feet. Linda thought this very considerate of the angler, for leaving a lovely snack there for her.

The man was not enthused, to use an understatement. He shouted that he was supposed to sell these! His swearing was quite colourful, let me tell you! I apologised profusely and dragged Pooch-who-was-in-a-pickle-now away from there. The worst thing was that I had such a hard time refraining from really laughing out loud at this hilarious episode. I fervently scolded her, for the man’s sake. But when we were out of hearing I fell over laughing and Linda licked me merrily, with a breath that was not very aromatic. Or rather it was, but not in a rosy way! So far for the tales of Linda for this day, folks.

by wallpaperstock.net

Next Messiah German or Dutch?

from sherriejohnson.blogspot.com

Read all about it!

The Christmas star was witnessed by millions and even recorded on video and pictures for all posterity. Why the second coming has decided to wear clogs is a mystery though(or possibly lederhosen). Asses flocked out in droves to watch this amazing spectacle and a stable has been prepared, just in case!

In the Netherlands the hunt is on for a female, who might loosely be described as a virgin! What with wise men having become such a rarity, one wonders who will show up to greet the little bugger? 2011 + 33 = 2044 We still have over three decades before we can mess for up the second time, folks. No need to worry just yet.

Huge Fireball recorded over Germany and The Netherlands on Dec 24, 2011.