My Great Big Hunting Dog…


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Pic by Droopy Dog Fandub on Youtube

As I was taking my pooch for a walk this morning, I remarked to myself that he seemed to be getting entirely too blimpy for his own good and decided to let him off the lead (we were in the woods) and told him to go hunt for himself for his brunch. He barked an: “Aye, aye, Sir!” and sped off to the nearest tree and started sniffing and circling it, not realising that treat trees are out of season! (silly dog…) He finally got so disgusted with the tree’s reply to his en-‘treat’-y that he lifted his hind leg and pissed against it. “Serves him right!”, he barked. Next he stopped a rabbit and tried to threaten it into revealing the whereabouts of its eating bowl, but lucked out again, as the rabbit fell over stupefied.

He did get directions to the nearest supermarket from a passing turkey and took me there post haste. I lost sight of him as he was stalking a roast chicken, which had been waylaid by a fellow hunter, after he whispered to me, droolingly: “Hunt your own, manling!” (I guess in actuality he was stalking the hunter, but I won’t belabour the point) I found him again at the checkout, where he told me that apparently I had to pay a fee for his hunting permit. It was either that or leave half a leftover chicken behind for the scavengers. I was rather proud of my great big hunting dog and dutifully forked over the fee!

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Its funny sometimes


Its funny sometimes,
how the little things matter,
how we listen to gossip,
and mindless chatter

Its funny sometimes,
how we stress for no reason,
we feel down on a sunday,
or we change with each season

Its funny sometimes,
how we can feel so alone,
wanting someone to visit,
wanting someone to phone

Its funny sometimes,
how we just need a hug,
to scootch up on the sofa,
and cuddle and snug

Its funny sometimes,
when things get us down,
always looking at the floor,
always showing a frown,

Its funny sometimes,
if we just lift our heads,
look at the world,
and smile instead

Embrace every meeting,
enjoy every talk,
sharing those special moments,
laughing together on a nice long walk.

Open our eyes,
and take in every sight,
theres no time for sadness,
its time to fight!

Its funny sometimes,
that everything is fine,
and the people who love you,
have been right here the whole time.

Funny Pictures at WalMart Baby Lee


What, no bull’s horns on the bonnet? Tsk, tsk…

Spotts in the Valley of the Sun

It’s not often “smart” and “hillbilly” are in the same sentence but I suppose the hillbilly smart car defies nearly all types of logic so I’ll just go ahead and tell this guy that while we appreciate his attempt, there is literally nothing in the world that can be done to man-up a smart car. Chances are good he already lost his balls, but if someone happens to see him go ahead and take them with his man card please.

Florida

via Funny Pictures at WalMart Baby Lee.

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Welcome to WordPress Anonymous!


from STooPid MonKey, very apt

It has come to my attention(somehow??) that I am not the only one who is hopelessly addicted to blogging on WordPress.com! My question, Ladies and Gentlemen, did they post a warning, when they invited you to join, stating that blogging could be detrimental to your mental health(such as it was…)? They did not! In fact they keep on adding new maddeningly fun attractions and hooters(?) and bells to the platform, with merriwinckles aforethought, with the express intent of keeping us all here for even longer than we were wont already. Pretty soon there will not be enough hours in a  day for us to satisfy our grave addiction!

Rumours have reached these, my very ears stating for a fact, for it was blogged!, that many individuals have lost house and home through overzealous blogging and are now reduced to posting from public libraries… One shudders just to think of it! There is one area in particular one should steer clear of at all costs and that is the META section of one’s blog—- Meta is a substance, which has serious side-effects. Once you are into that then you start experiencing horrifying stuff such as blogrolls that turn into a spin that goes out of all control! We’Re DOOMED, I tell ye!!

It is to help all the poor wretches, who are thus afflicted, that I have taken it upon myself to create WordPress Anonymous. Attached to this blog you will find a section: “Contribute to Ralphie’s Travel Fund”, please do so at your earliest convenience. I am not being facetious, Ladies and Gentlemen! When I have amassed enough funds, I shall sacrifice myself and take my overblogged carcass to the Bahamas to do some extensive testing to ascertain if recovery is at all possible. This testing may take a while. Please bear with me! Do not be stingy for I shall need at least three voluptuous lasses to try to nurse me back to my normal zany self. Quite a task for these yunmy ladies, let me tell you!

I have taken medical advice and my doctors assure me that only the hautest cuisine can possibly bring me back, coupled with the intake of beverages of the finest vintage. No expense shall be spared to find a cure for the myriads of sufferers of the Blog Syndrome. Yours truly shall be the guinea pig(no comments, please!) it’s a thankless job, but somebody has to undertake it! Should I perish whilst trying, then please remember me fondly. Now get out your checkbooks and let the Bucks roll.

Jokes Galore!


Found a new site that might be to your liking: The Laughline!

Here are some examples:
Irish Garden Recliners.

From The Laughline

(September 5th, 2011 by poddys | 2 Comments | Filed in Marriage Jokes)

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s voice from the kitchen calling “‘what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?”

I said, “‘Thank you, I’ll have chicken please”.

She replied, “‘You’re having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!”

(Tags: beef, chicken, dinner, lamb, sitting on the sofa, watching tv)

For more, go and check them out! 

Funny Stuff from a New Friend.


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Group Huddle - Falcons Rock via Flickr

The Chicken/The Bike (Weekend Jokes).

Read them and chuckle! Go on, hop over and have a laugh…

There is even a whole category for jokes that I still have to check out. If you beat me to it, come back and report!

Isn’t it about time we started cooperating with each other a bit on WordPress?

Stuck in the Middle with Linda!


A German Shepherd waiting for someone to play ...

Image via Wikipedia

As some of you may already know, Linda is my dog. She’s a mix between a German shepherd and a Husky. I’m her pal and she’s my boss, sort of… No skiving off or shilly-shallying for me, when Her Majesty needs her wee! I am bound hand and foot to her every whim. Luckily, I love her to bits, as she does me. Here I am again dallying, when I should be dillying! To procrastinate and vacillate seems to have become my favourite pass-time. *sigh* Continue reading

Reblog: The Night of the Raccoon


Read all about it: more humor!

Whippy's Words Of Wisdom

My husband drives an oil tanker during the winter and when he’s not busy farming other times of the year. He gets up about 5am while it’s still dark out and first thing he does is go start the semi. Most mornings it’s just a cold quick walk outside to start it up and come back in for a half hour or so of coffee.

To really understand what happens next I must explain a few things. Right out our front door we have two bowls of cat food and dog food for our outside animals. We keep them full of food so our kitties and dog, Homer, always have something to eat.

On this particular early morning, Brad stumbled outside with sleep still in eyes to start his semi. He stepped down towards the food bowls and tripped over a raccoon! I’m sure the raccoon was just as shocked…

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