I was stumbling on the edge of the desert, searching for a reason to be there, when all of a sudden, I spotted a lovely purple flower, that reminded me of my Gran. My Gran was not a flower, nor was she purple. I would like to make this clear! For otherwise, you might think that I were a bit weird. The fact of the matter is, that purple used to be my Gran´s favourite colour and she was also very fond of flowers. I sat down, next to this blooming wonder and said hello. Flowers can not speak, or so I have been told, but I fancied that I saw it make a little bow, in my direction, which made me happy. Just then, I found a shadow looming over the both of us. I chanced a peek, in the direction of its source and there I saw Yohdi!
I said: “Hello there, Yoyo-man, I´ve been writing about you!”
He answered: “I know, what took you so long?”
“Well, I´m easily distracted by all things fair and foul, but now you´re here, could you fill me in, on the meaning of life and of the universe, please?”
“Just like that, hey, between the soup and the first dish?”
“No! Just between this flower and you and me.”
“Just for having said hello to the flower, I´ll tolerate you by my side, but only for a little while.”
“So, Yoyo, can I be your disciple?”
“First of all, it´s Yohdi and I suppose I could just take a moment, to wean you of some of your misconceptions.”
* I had my silly grin on my face, then. *
“Oh please, Ralphie, when you´re with me, try not to look like a complete moron.”
“Yes, oh great Yohdi, should I grovel and slither in the dust on the ground, before your magnificence?”
“Sarcasm will get you nowhere, but a little groveling would not be out-of-place! Right, you want to be my disciple? You see that rock, over there? Go and sit in front of it, pour all your love into it and change it into a flower.”
“Just like that, hunhh? Couldn´t you give me something that´s a bit of a challenge?”
*How do I change a rock into a flower???*
Desert Roses from Wikipedia
I sat down and started pouring and pouring, but the rock just stood there or lay there, whichever. They´re very good at that, are rocks. Fortunately, Yohdi threw me a crust of bread, once in a while and occasionally he even brought me a cup of water. It was very hot there, on the edge of the desert. I said to Yohdi:
“I wish I had something to cover my head, in this heat.”
“Well, why don´t you?”
“Wish for it!”
“Because I´m too busy with this rock-flower.” He picked up a twig and stretched it out and folded it into a parasol.
“How did you do that?”
“Elementary, my dear Ralphie. Concentrate on your edelweiss!”
After several sunstrokes and throwing everything I had in me at this rock, I got so frustrated, that I balled up all my energy and threw it at the rock. And it crumbled! Yohdi was there in a jiffy. He was furious.
“What did that rock ever do to you? Did it willfully and with malicious intent bash you over the head, with itself?
But, didn´t he understand? OK, I hadn´t intended for this to happen, but at least I had produced a result. Yohdi shouted:
“You irresponsible child, you nincompoop! Apologise to that rock immediately and turn it back into what it was before!”
*Turn it back? How? It was kind of destroyed. Oops!*
“But I don´t know how!”
“How difficult can it be?”
He scooped up a handful of dust and let it DRIP on the floor, where it formed a little pile of pebbles. Then he picked that up, let it trickle through his fingers onto the floor, where it turned into a small rock.
“There, think you can manage that? And apologise first, you twat.”
“It would help, if you explained, in detail, the workings behind this miracle.”
“What miracle? Anyone can do this! Listen, the createe is the creator. Everything is just a matter of perception. What did the flower do after you said hello to it?”
“It seemed to bow to me.”
“Not seemed, it bowed to you. Instead of obliterating that poor rock, had you not considered talking to it. Asking it to change for you? Hunhh??”
“Talking to a rock? What if somebody were to pass by? Wouldn´t that seem kind of cuckoo?”
“I see, so when God was creating the known universe, known to you and me, that is, and his neighbour passed by, he should have left the swirling planets and stars, and offered him a cup of tea, should He? Heaven forbid, someone should think God was doing something cuckoo, like creating!”
“But I´m not God, am I!”
“Aren´t you? Aren´t I? Aren´t we all? You´re the God of your universe and I´m the God of mine, and so on. And there´s more, all these universes are interconnected. Got it, dim-wit? Now help that poor rock!”
I scooped up the lot and gently let it pour into the rock it was before. I was astounded! How had I done that?
“That took you long enough! Come and have breakfast.” This was cause for some serious thinking. I was munching my lobster thermidor, on the edge of the desert, when Yohdi commented:
“When did you intend to change that rock into a flower? Sometime during the next millennium, I hope.” I finished my meal in a hurry and went over to the rock. I asked it gently:
“Please Rocky, could you help me? You see that flower, over there? She all alone, with nobody to talk to. And there are plenty of rocks here. Couldn´t you go over there and keep her company, as a flower?”
He took a while to ponder this. Rocks see the long perspective, you know.
“You can always change back, if you want.”, I said.
This clinched it and he joined Purply. She was all a-jitter. She even blew me a kiss, which made me sneeze, because of the pollen. And I thought flowers didn´t speak! I´ve never heard such a chatterbox in my life. The poor ex-rock seemed to have second thoughts, but he stuck by her. She had been alone for such a long time, the poor soul. I had my idiot´s grin on my face, again. Yohdi said: “Don´t look so smug!” At that precise moment, I spotted an eagle, soaring high up in the skies.
I asked Yohdi: “Do you think we could pop up and say hello?”
“Lead the way!”, said the master. We floated up to meet the eagle. It was not impressed. In fact it was quite vociferous in its protestations. It even tried to peck my eyes out.
“Let´s leave it alone.” , said Yohdi, “the poor thing still thinks it´s an eagle.”
“What!!?? But…if anything and everyone can…”
“Exactly!”, replied Yohdi, “If everyone knew that, if only you´re convinced that you can do something,… we´d end up with a right mess! That´s why we have to keep it a secret. We can only give the others the tiniest of nudges, otherwise we´d be royally buggered.”
“Rhhumm!! Yohdi? Humm…Master?”
“Oh oh!!! What??”
“So, you don´t think, it would be a good idea to post all this on the internet, do you??”
“You blithering idiot! You maniac!….”
Right, ladies and gentlemen, I have to log off now. I´m due for a right bollocking from master Yohdi.