I’ve Been Around the Block a Couple of Times! :-) – LOL

Emily and Ralphie on Facebook:
6 hours ago
Hello..how re u doing
Fine thanks, yourself?
cool .. how was the weather over there with u
I’m Emili by name
Wintry, Emily
Ok can u tell me where re u from and some one suggest u for me to add u as my friend
Peter “Friend”
Really, Do you know Peter well? I’m from Belgium and you?
Lol i add him and he suggest u for me to add.. I’m from Luxembourg but presently now in a country called Nigeria for my 6 month nursing progames
have u ever been to nigeria before
No, I never have.
9 minutes ago
Ok and have u ever meet anybody from Nigeria before
No, I have not.
oh i can see and can u tell me more about your self
See my timeline
Ok re u single or married
u have a gf
on here or where…do u also have kid
She’s reading this right now and wondering where this is going? (*)
tell her to sorry cos i will not distrub u again
Good, thank you.
P.S.: (*) = 😉

‘Britain’s Atlantis’ found at bottom of North sea.

From dailymail.co.uk:

huge undersea world swallowed by the sea in 6500BC

  • Divers have found traces of ancient land swallowed by waves 8500 years ago
  • Doggerland once stretched from Scotland to Denmark
  • Rivers seen underwater by seismic scans
  • Britain was not an island – and area under North Sea was roamed by mammoths and other giant animals
  • Described as the ‘real heartland’ of Europe
  • Had population of tens of thousands – but devastated by sea level rises
A Greater Britain: How the North Sea grew and the land-mass shrunk

A Greater Britain: How the North Sea grew and the land-mass shrunk

Britain’s Atlantis’ – a hidden underwater world swallowed by the North Sea – has been discovered by divers working with science teams from the University of St Andrews.

Doggerland, a huge area of dry land that stretched from Scotland to Denmark was slowly submerged by water between 18,000 BC and 5,500 BC.

Divers from oil companies have found remains of a ‘drowned world’ with a population of tens of thousands – which might once have been the ‘real heartland’ of Europe.

A team of climatologists, archaeologists and geophysicists has now mapped the area using new data from oil companies – and revealed the full extent of a ‘lost land’ once roamed by mammoths.



Who needs streetlights?


From digitaltrends.com:

Who needs streetlights when you’ve got glow-in-the-dark streets?

Remember those glow-in-the-dark stars you stuck on your ceiling as a kid? The ones that you could shine a light on for a second to make them glow brighter? Well, a UK company called Pro-Teq is now using that same technology to provide a low-cost way to illuminate streets and walkways.

Brilliant, right? It’s kind of mind-boggling that nobody thought of doing this before, especially since those glowing plastic toys have been around for decades.

The new coating, coincidentally called “StarPath,” is a water-resistant, spray-on treatment that absorbs UV light during the day, and emits a blue glow during the night. This is possible thanks to the inclusion of a phosphorescent compound, but it’s apparently a bit more sophisticated than the stuff that’s used in toys.


A Father’s Reprimand. – Pause

From futurefocused.wordpress.com

From futurefocused.wordpress.com

From Upworthy.com:

A Father Reprimands His Homophobic Child In This Beautiful Letter

              I’m not sharing this because I think this letter is fantastic (even though it is). This letter really illustrates that prejudice isn’t always something that is learned from your parents.

Dear Christine:

I’m disappointed in you as a daughter. You’re correct that we have a “shame in the family,” but mistaken about what it is.

Kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real “abomination” here. A parent disowning her child is what “goes against nature.”

The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that “you didn’t raise your son to be gay.” Of course you didn’t. He was born this way and didn’t choose it any more than he being left-handed. You however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded and backward. So, while we are in the business of disowning our children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gays put it) grandson to raise, and I don’t have time for heart-less B-word of a daughter.

If you find your heart, give us a call.

— Dad

Both Grandparents Disappeared!


grandmother_mimi_child (Photo credit: Abraxas3d) – A fraud!

My Grandmother Mimi and my grandfather Alfred, who were both a large part of my life for thirty and forty years respectively, or so I thought, have proven to be a figment of the imagination of quite a number of people. The same goes for my Mum Diane, whom I swore I saw only yesterday, but doesn’t exist. And come to think of it, until recent years I seem to have been a figment of my own imagination. Strange how some things one takes for granted can later on prove to be utter lies.

The truth about these misappropriated and constructed identities was revealed to me only today by two truly enlightened twelve-year-olds. They finally taught me how to distinguish fact from fabrication and trivial rumour mongering. They explained to me the first rule of contemporary proof of existence, which is an article of faith amongst all youngsters;

“Absolutely nothing is real, until it has been posted on Facebook and/or has been tweeted, period!”

At the same time I discovered the secret to everlasting life. Please!, should anyone learn (informally) of my demise in the near or far future, DON’T post it on FB or Twitter, that way the non-confirmation of my offline (and irrelevant) continuance or lack thereof can keep you all in suspense forever.

Cancer Cure: Cannabis!

DEA: stick this in your pipe and DON’T forget to smoke it! Peace, Bros.

From Brave Mykayla:

Here is another success story from a family (now dear friends) that contacted me! Silas’s Momma is actually one of Mykayla’s fairy god parents from our fairy god parent drive last November/December She followed us here… and found herself walking the exact same path just a few months later with little Silas… So of course she knew what to do… RIGHT AWAY. All children should have SAFE ACCESS and cannabis oil AS SOON as they are diagnosed… Its easier to take care of before the cancer/symptoms get out of control. Brave Family LOVES you baby Silas, Ash, and family!
STAY STRONG … peaceloveCURE https://www.facebook.com/StrengthForSilas

Cyber Speak.


Tweet up

Limited Love Span Syndrome: Kiss, kiss, cuddle, cuddle, go!

Love is all??? Only when I’m online, dear!

Have you got the latest love app yet?

I cuddled your profile, while you were offline!(from Groovimax on EP)

An oldie: Oh, DOS off!

What are you up to? — Just hanging out my Windows, listening to the Tweets. I can’t Facebook anyone now!

I rebooted his sex drive up the Yahoo!(=not good)

Facepalming your duckface is obscene, bitch!

A robodog is what we need. To suffer his affections but for a while, until the off-switch beckons.

Got Plastic? How Trashing the Planet Destroys Animal Life


By  from The Flaming Vegan.com:

The wonderful tales of Mother Nature are best told with the sounds of the ocean waves and the innocent sounds of birds. Little do we know that for every picture we steal from these beautiful places we leave plastic pieces of ourselves in these places; unknowingly these little pieces when accumulated give massive destruction of such beautiful places we haven’t yet discovered.

After I watched this video shared by a friend on Facebook, I was stunned. I was in shock and out of words for the minutes that followed. How can we be so oblivious? Who gave us the right to kill other innocent creatures? Shown in this film is the plight of the Laysan albatross thriving in the majestic Midway Island in the North Pacific and how little pieces like plastic caps and other non-biodegradable materials slowly kills these noble congregation of Laysan albatross.

To read more <Click here!>

Give Nature a Helping Hand!

From I fucking love science

The Yellow Pages use no virgin paper in the production of their directories, but to produce and deliver 540 million a year requires immense amounts of water and uses immense amounts of energy and fuel. If you need the YP, keep it! But if you’re among the 70% polled who say they never even open them, opt out. It’s just a waste not to.

https://www.yellowpagesoptout.com/ or (866) 329-7118

Hat tip to Give A Shit About Nature.


Always glad to to our bit when it comes to preserve nature!

Art Helps Children!

I have a ceramicist friend on Facebook, called Didier Gesqueire, who has started an initiative to help children with cancer. Any artist wishing to contribute can send one or more works of art to this man, after which the works are auctioned off and the whole proceeds go to the Belgian Children’s Cancer Fund(Kinderkankerfonds). He has received artworks already from artists all over Europe.

Who would not like to help these children, right!? I have not made any art in the last couple of years and I therefore do my bit by making this publicity for their cause. If you are interested in helping, please go to Kunst helpt kinderen(Art helps children).

Here is the latest artwork that was sent in by Cordula Kerlikowski:

From Cordula Kerlikowski

From Cordula Kerlikowski

Reality Check!

Spiderman's Horse

Spiderman’s Horse (Photo credit: garryknight)

Common sense for sale.

Two ounces for a dollar!

Hand-made, unique…

Would make for a handsome souvenir!


No takers, I take it?

Bad investment:

profit margin’s low!

Adsense, yes.

One cent a click,

but common sense,

that no!




Insanity for sale.


How much for a pound?

Never mind, I’ll take the lot!


A Thousand Times.

People Matter

People Matter (Photo credit: Scott Beale)

From geetar39 on Experience project.

A thousand ‘likes’. A thousand comments. A thousand tweets of the same breakfast while we marvel at coincidence.

Because I matter.

Following you following me a thousand times for a thousand disciples; the next more important than the last. A favorite book/song/quote/movie/character/dog leading them to me a thousand times.

Because I matter.

A thousand ‘badges’ and a thousand ‘mayorships’ in a thousand virtual realms where I perch at the top of the mountain of my own making. A thousand fish that got away, a thousand tall tales; all stretching the view into something great.

Because I matter.

I matter.

I matter even while work swirls around me unnoticed and uncaring as my thousand ‘likes’ swim forth with a million others turning a sea of familiarity into an ocean of cacophonic absurdity.

I matter as the search for even more vague and obscure definitions of me become even more meaningless and the friend of a friend of a friend is a more noble conquest than a friend in need.

I matter as my memories gush over and over; reliving the time when and retelling the story when and remembering the special moment when a thousand times as another moment slips into the past.

I matter because a thousand virtual birthday wishes say so even as noone is there to hug me just once but my own wishes fly out ensuring that for a brief moment we are connected a thousand times.

I matter as I copy a thousand times the creation of others connecting to thousands of others whose copies match mine while the spark of creativity dwindles inside my own chest.

I matter while my daughter sits, alone in her room, her own ‘likes’ cascading into the world perhaps mingling with mine in surprising acknowledgement as we slip past.

I matter as the wail of a child becomes the wail of a grandchild becomes the wail of a soul that sounds the same as my own. It is my own.

Because I matter.

A thousand times.

It’s a bit illogical for me to reblog this, but I just had to!

Let’s Get Up to 50.000 Visits!

Wordpress Button Closeup

WordPress Button Closeup (Photo credit: Titanas)

Work with me, People! These are the WordPress stats for Ralphie’s Portal so far:

48,507 views all-time

Totals, Followers & Shares


1,913 Posts



27 Categories

5,104 Tags

Followers (includes Publicize)

274 Blog


23 Twitter

34 Facebook

El Camino: The Experience 2!

Español: Camino a Talpa.

Español: Camino a Talpa. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And then some days, time dragged its feet and the road itself grew weary of just going on and on in endless monotony, sick to its stomach of being trampled underfoot, longing to merely lie there in pristine silence. The flowers grew depressed under the midday heat and craved a nice shower. The fish were gasping for water in what was left of the brooks. The birds, their wings they flapped no more, too exhausted to utter a “tweet”.


The humans on the other hand were never too tired to snap, snap their cameras and post on Facebook, to immortalise the immutable spirit of the Way, eager already for old age to drop by and allow them to show these moments of bliss and pain to their progeny… every so often forgetting to live in the now.


That is until yet another sight of nature in all her majesty took their breath away anew. Mother Earth is somehow always ready to nurture our spirits and renew our energy, when we most need it. And need it we did! We all, without exception, got the “Iron Cross” in a superhuman fight against a mountain, a fearless enemy, who would not give in. After this unequal contest, I lay there exhausted and battle-worn, wondering how in the blazes I would ever be able to put one foot in front of the other again.


But of course I did, as did everyone and on we went tirelessly marching to our own inner rhythm. Onwards and upwards the children of the Pilgrem´s Way went to reach their salvation: Santiago! There to embrace the Golden Saint, who would deliver them from all their earthly worries. Amen!



Support My Gran´s Shelter for Abandoned Pets!

Don't Abandon Your Pets in the Summer!
Don’t Abandon Your Pets in the Summer! (Photo credit: antipax)

It took a rather nasty experience to force me to re-evaluate life in general. I shall no longer dwell on the negative aspects, because this is the whole point of yet another of life´s lessons. I have been trying, to no avail, to get a point across, which is that the mind can be disciplined not to focus on the negative, but to embrace the light. Everybody has problems, to a lesser or worse extent. If you choose to dwell on them, get caught up in them, then you inexorably spiral downwards.

However, if instead you focus on the silver lining, then you can at least cope and will eventually surmount that molehill, which you thought was a mountain. I have met a number of people, who were a lot worse of than I am, but who embraced life and all its beauty. I admired them immensely for this and thought: “If only I could do this!” Only, there is no “If only…”, there is but the choice: yes or no! If by now you do not get the point, then please join Facebook or Twitter. Maybe someone over there might enlighten you.

No-one will shackle my spirit to a nightmare, when I can choose to live a wonderful dream! (Thank you, john and the Reverend) In other words, reality, such as it is, can be changed by my or your perception of it.

People have lost the dream. That is the whole problem of today, with some notable exceptions! I would like to take the time now, not to give a flower, nor a bouquet, but a whole field of daisies to my adopted Gran, Sheila Ross-Kuhn, for being the bestest, most wonderful human being that I know. If only(!!!???) her heart of gold could be sold for what it is really worth, she would be a billionaire! If there is a way, which I shall endeavour to find out, of donating a little something to her shelter for abandoned pets, which she started in memory of her beloved, deceased daughter, please do so!

Gran, don´t let your aureola sag and keep a stiff upper lip, no sobbing allowed, because these are your just desserts! I love you to bits, A big hug and a smackeroo from Lil Ralphie.

Facebook tests ‘pay to promote post’ tool! – LOL

From BBC Technology. <Click Here!> to read more.

Facebook has started testing a system that lets users pay to highlight or promote posts.

By paying a small fee users can ensure that information they post on the social network is more visible to friends, family and colleagues.

The tests are being carried out among the social network’s users in New Zealand.

Facebook said the goal was to see if users were interested in paying to flag up their information.

Money maker

The tests of the “pay to promote” system were discovered by a Facebook user in Whangarei, reported New Zealand’s news magazine Stuff.

At first, said Stuff, the user thought the offer to pay to promote a post was a con trick.

A Facebook spokesperson confirmed to the BBC the offer was genuine.

“We’re constantly testing new features across the site,” said the spokesperson. “This particular test is simply to gauge people’s interest in this method of sharing with their friends.”

Different methods of highlighting posts were being tested, said the spokesperson. These would see a range of charges being levied to make posts more visible. Comments on the tests suggest the highest price being charged was £1.25 ($2) while others cost 25p or 50p.

Payments could be made via credit card or PayPal.

The spokesperson said some of the methods it was trying out would incur a charge but others would highlight a post for free. The spokesperson would not be drawn on when the test would end or if it would be tried in other territories.

Note from Ralphie:

So, you can now pay Facebook to “highlight” the stuff you post for your friends, family and colleagues, who are getting it anyway(in New Zealand at least)! That’s good to know… In the same vein, I think I’ll get a beeper, to notify me when my mobile is ringing!!!

The Thing about Vampires…+

Vampire world bank protest16

Mr. Smooth? - Wikipedia

You know how vampires, in the movies, always look dressed to the nines. They never have a hair out-of-place. Two minutes after biting someone and sucking several pints of blood they have a ‘whiter than white smile’. Never any dandruff on their lapels… If they are female, the hairdo is vamptastic. But… how do they manage all this, if they can’t see themselves in the mirror? Does Igor do all this for them?

Here are some other things I’ve always wondered about:

– What does a vampire do when he or she wakes up in the middle of the day and has to take a wee?

– When a Master vampire makes a new one, does the newbie get a free dental plan?

– Do these undead stiffies get stiffies or does a vampiress have to be impregnated by a mortal?

– Do teenage vampires need braces?

– Do VERY old vampires have false teeth?

– Are there any vampirical insomniacs at all and if so how do they spend their day?

– Where does a claustrophobic vampire sleep? XXXXXL coffin?

– How do vertically challenged vampires get to bite their victims?

– Do Facebook vampires un-live their friends?

– Are there any vampires who are addicted to alcoholics?

– Is the vampire President in office for four hundred years?

– Is a cross-dressing vampire called a Transylvestite?

– What do they do in Transylvania  on Halloween? Do they get the night off?

– Are there any animal vampires, like an undead Bugs Bunny for example? If yes, how does that work out carrot-wise?

In front of haunted house during Halloween sea...

His and Hers? - Wikipedia

Now if I were a vampire I’d want a group coffin, to schmooze around awhile. One with a built-in snack cupboard, sporting the odd midget.  The obligatory urinal would be a must, of course.

P.S.: Remember the Olde Vampire Saying – Life SUCKS and then you live some more! 


Kreativ Blogger Awards

Master of Creativity: Picasso

This new year of 2012 has started off in an auspicious way! Let me count our blessings, if you will indulge me.

First of all, there are six of us here at the present, who complement each other wonderfully and harmoniously, which in and of itself is enough to keep on blogging like happy chappies and chapesses. You can read all our separate introductions in the header of this site.

Secondly, we have just recently received our second Liebster Blog Award, which you can read up on in an earlier article by clicking <here>

An unexpected third blessing is that we have reached the cape of one hundred followers on our site this very day, for which I thank our devoted readers profusely!       (Followers: 100 ; to wit: 59 WordPress.com blog followers. 9 WordPress.com comment followers. 10 Twitter followers. 22 Facebook followers. = from the site statistics)

And last but certainly not least, on checking our comments this morning, I found that we had received this most treasured of Kreativ Blogger Awards, for which I humbly thank Mister Martin Aliker from “The Happiness nest” site. Click <here> to read the article!

I now have to share ten  things about ourselves:

1. Ralphieportal could not have gotten this award without the contributions of the whole team(fact!).

2. I dearly miss my good friend and our first house-poet Lieven and I hope he comes out of hibernation soon!

3. SelargorNight has posted many poems that have enchanted us all and I hope he continues to do so often!

4. Sheila, our first house-witch, is an adornment to this site and I thank the stars every day that she is my friend(and adopted Gran!).

5. SaintMaj will hopefully regale us with more of his witticisms very soon!

6. Polly has joined her sister-witch and is adored and admired by all of us!

7. Ralphie is still a reprobate and will not be converting to any conformism any time soon, or ever for that matter!

8. Any lonely bloggers that would like to join our happy family can always give us a whistle and we will come a-runnin’! The more the merrier…

9. We’ve had visitors from 73 countries so far and I hope we can continue to spread zany, magical and happy thoughts to the rest of the world.

10. We sincerely hope that our policy of content over technological frills will continue to pay off.

There only remains for me to select my favourites for the Kreativ Blogger Awards and they are the following:

1. @GrumpyComments – always good for a laugh.

2. Lindy Lee – for original poems.

3. Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge – for quantum leaps of the imagination.

4. Linguistic Playfulness – for roaring prose.

5. TheTaoOfD – for thoughtful insights.

6. Waifette – for magnificent photography.

There are evidently many more that I adore, but the rules say that I can only choose six! Sorry about this.