Guts and Balls! – Joke


From http://highoctanehumor.com/ Medical distinction between Guts and Balls There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night …

Hillbilly Rescue! – Joke


From http://highoctanehumor.com/ Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her …

Virtual Congrats! – Joke


From ” English JoKes “: Girl said: Dad, I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we’ve had 2 …

American Football Explained! – Joke


From “funny jokes & pics “: A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just …

Male Shopping Misconduct. – Joke


From  http://highoctanehumor.com/: After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from …

I speak Blonde! – Joke.


From ShArE ThE LaUgH: On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move …

Naval Scuffle US+Canada – Joke


From Buckle up, Bitches:   This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision. Canadians: Recommend …

Blonde confusion! – Joke


From ShArE ThE LaUgH: This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.” “Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop. … The blonde takes out …

Job Ad… – Joke


From cheleshere on ExperienceProject.com: A man goes into the Job Center in downtown Denver and sees an ad for a gynecologist’s assistant. Interested, he asks the clerk for details. The clerk says, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down, …

A Preacher’s Ass. – Joke


  FromThe World According to Atlas   Submitted by Lawrence 🙂     A preacher wanted to earn money for the building expansion program of his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter him in the races. However, at the local auction …

Paradise Lost! – Joke


Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news… Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below …

Famous Last Words! – Joke


Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she …

Grandmas Are Great! – LOL


From thundersex on ExperienceProject.com:   A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a Nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. …

Just Tazing! – Joke


From “funny jokes & pics “: Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking …

High School Reunion? – Joke


From “funny jokes & pics “ I noticed his diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon …

Two Beggars – Joke


From  cheleshere on Experience Project:   Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One held a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David. Many people passed by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar holding the Cross. The …

Blonde Football – Joke


  From“funny jokes & pics “   A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I …

Little Johnny – Joke


  From “funny jokes & pics “   Teacher: “Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?” Little Johnny: “None.” Teacher: “Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?” Little Johnny: “None.” Teacher: “Can you explain that answer?” Little Johnny: “One …

Sailors – Joke


From  thesower on Experience Project: Two sailors were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boats provisions, one of the men came across a little lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared. …

What Is Politics? – Joke


  From “Funny jokes & pics”   A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the …

Wife Rules The Roost. – Joke


From  climber1 on Experience Prohect: Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, ‘Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman.’ ‘Oh yeah?’ said Charlie, ‘And how did this one end?’ ‘When it was over,’ Mike replied, ‘She came to me on her hands and knees.’ ‘Really,’ said Charles, …

Engineers Joke


From  livingfortoday on Experience Project: Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes …

Don’t Mess With Senior Citizens! – Joke


From Buckle up, Bitches: A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they …

Italian Wedding Night! – Joke


From The World According to Atlas : Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So …

The Councillor. – Joke


From IdleWanderer on Experience Project: After just a few years of marriage , filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived …

Forgot My Glasses! – Joke


From “funny jokes & pics “ : Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time. Talking about my “doing something useful” seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was “only thinking of me” and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. …

Is There Sex After Death? – Joke


From “funny jokes & pics “ : A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, …

The Gunfighter – Joke


From Rapolis on Experience Project : A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized  an  elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The  cowboy took a place next to the  old-timer, bought him a drink  and told him of his great ambition to …

PERFECT PUNISHMENT! – Joke


From Funny Jokes and Pictures : Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the …