Nature is a Bitch!

From Ralphie:

I woke up this morning after a wonderful night and paid my dues to Mother Nature, as per our arrangement. First her and then everybody else.

I had been warned about such things by my dear departed father, that women can get very cruel, when scorned, and I had heeded his counsel.

After paying my respects to the lady, I had a lovely breakfast, two mugs of coffee and then I decided to go for a stroll about town. When I was in the middle of nowhere, so to speak(actually the middle of somewhere, but never mind…), she announced her presence again. Without so much as a by your leave!

I informed her that this was an inopportune moment and could I have a rain-check!? She wouldn’t have it. Very impolite lady, she is.  I entreated her that this was not the time nor the place for her to come calling a second time and did she not remember that I had already vociferously said hello to her a mere hour earlier.

She replied that if I did not let her in, she would tear the door down. Now, I ask you, is this any way for a lady to behave? And there’s another thing! You can not pay your respects to her just anywhere. This is not the kind you take home to Mamma, if you catch my drift. The local authorities also have something against her!

At it happens, there was an establishment where in exchange for a small fee, they allowed me to see the bitch and let her do her dirty business with me. She’s a drag. I shall write a letter to my M.P.!



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