Replacing the F-Word?

English: Single sleeve of "F**k You!"...
English: Single sleeve of “F**k You!” by Cee Lo Green (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Might not the English language be served well by a selection of phrases to replace the oh so overused “Fuck you!” or “Fuck off!”? I have nothing whatsoever against the act that the verb implies, or rather states so forcefully, but I do not see the need to pepper every sentence with it. Why not try to come up with some utterances that show a trifle more sophistication, a tad more panache, for I for one do so dislike the ordinary. Let us re-educate our sailors, prostitutes and other less savoury individuals, such as lawyers(my apologies to the ladies of the night, btw).

Something along the lines of a friendly:

“I fear you would not have made it out of Gomorrah, my dear chap!” or a gentle

“May the good Lord bless you with a cortex sometime soon!” for the blissfully obtuse.

Should not the “Silence of the Mutton” prevail over the shrieks of blondes? Could you all please help me compile a list of understated phrases for asking people to kindly make themselves scarce? Would the following examples not be more pleasing to the ears?:

“Please step outside and see if I’m there!”

“I’ll get back to you when I can’t!”

“Please come and see me when I’m out!”

“A good listener would have left by now!”

I shall avidly await your linguistic concoctions and fornicatory salutations to you all!

P.S.: More dislocution coming soon…


Published by raburcke

I am a comedy writer, oil painter and the founder of this site. Do join me and we will make it a place that everyone will be happy to visit.

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