After eight years of bummin’ around, I think it time to put my nose to the grindstone again, but not too close, ’cause I don’t want to get it ground off completely. I’m planning to get back into the mainstream of life. Maybe not exactly in the middle, but close enough to it to avoid getting muck on my shoes. Ralphie is looking for a job. I did some serious reading and listening to catch up on the latest trends, for I gots to be able to talk the talk and walk the walk, if I wants to get in with a fighting chance.
A notice in the window of a job agency caught my eye.
Wanted(That’s me!): Sales person for a leather store.
Telling myself that this was a piece of cake, I sauntered in, nonchalant-like and presented myself. I told the nice lady behind the desk I could sell that store in no time, just so long as it met with the three L’s of real estate: the location triplets. The nice lady disabused me of this notion and went on to tell me that they were actually looking for someone to sell leather bags and clothes and such. I said that I had done some serious networking and that among my many contacts I counted no less than three, count them: three, presidents of biker clubs. They would surely take that crap off their hands easy-like, if’n the price was right. She told me to vamoose on the horse I rode in on.
I think I don’t like that bitch… I crossed that particular agency off my list of people to do business with. Their loss, I’m sure! Should there be any companies out there that could benefit from my years of experience as an alcohol researcher, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Recycling shit is another one of my fortes. Don’t yawl call around the same time though and may the best outfit win. Who said this wasn’t easy!???
- The Grammar Rules Behind 3 Commonly Disparaged Dialects (mentalfloss.com)
- Job Huntin’ (amaryllissloth.wordpress.com)
- Dogs join in office cookout (toledoblade.com)