From ronanp on Experience Project:
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by.
He got into the taxi and the cabbie said,
“Perfect timing. You’re just like Brian”
Cabbie: “Brian Sullivan. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis.
He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.
He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer.
He remembered everybody’s birthday.
He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything.
Not like me.
I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out.
But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Brian, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong;
and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes polished too.
He was the perfect man!
He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow.
How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Brian.
He died. I’m married to his fucking widow.”