About Gravity and Density.


Gravity well plot
Gravity well plot (Photo credit: Wikipedia) You see, it’s a plot!

I’m at present reading a novel in which is explained the mathematical and geometrical proof of gravity. At least, I assume it is!

Yet again, I am confirmed in my unshakable belief that I am completely and utterly thick, because I understood jack shit about it, not one solitary iota, bupkes, zilch.

First I thought I would ask someone to explain it to me in laymen’s terms, but then I realised that this would not do. Look at the term laymen, it has the verb ‘to lay’ in it, which means ‘to put down’.

No, Sir! I beg to differ. The degree of my stupidity is such that, if you were to try to make me understand, you would not have to put me down, but instead you would have to treat me as someone who has been deceased for quite some time!

Thus, the only ones to bring me any measure of enlightenment in the matter would be either Jesus H. Christ or God the Father Himself. As I am very much in doubt as to whether they will take the time to resurrect my mentos defunctos, I shall stick to my comfortable theory that gravity has everything to do with superglue.

It’s either that or await the Second Coming, but I think I’ll be gone by then!

Published by raburcke

I am a comedy writer, oil painter and the founder of this site. Do join me and we will make it a place that everyone will be happy to visit.

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  1. Most of the people who’ve ever lived (going back to the old stone age) have not understood gravity either and they lived their lives to the end without their ignorance affecting them one jot. You are following in their illustrious footsteps – you are in the same company as Virgil, Shakespeare, Vasco da Gama, all the Emperors of China, et al.

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