Here´s one I thought up yesterday(My very first self-made joke!):
There was a rich man, who had a beautiful wife and who loved his garden, but didn´t have all the time he would have liked to spend caring for it and therefore employed a gardener. The gardener was young and handsome and fancied the Misses, who didn´t mind a bit of flirting, but would never think of taking it any further. However, the husband thought the two were having an affair, which they were definitely not.
One day the handsome gardener went too far and the Lady of the house fired him. As luck would have it, the same day an old and gnarled gardener came to ask if there was a vacancy. The Lady took pity on him and offered him the job. She even told him he could sleep in the shed, should he wish. He did and the woman came to visit him every so often to inquire after his health.
The husband, unaware of all the developments, had seen her enter and thought to himself: “Hahah, so that is their love-nest. I shall confront them one of these days!”(He was working up the courage, for his wife was a rather formidable lady.)
Totally unrelated to this, one day the rich man had a brilliant idea about making his garden even more beautiful. Having green fingers himself, he set to and when he´d finished the job, he admired it for it really did look magnificent. He conceived even bigger plans for his garden and the next day he told a female colleague about them. She immediately responded with: “But George, don´t you have a gardener to do all this work?” He replied: “But of course I do!” and thought to himself to let the gardener do all the heavy work and thus keep him away from his Missus.
When he came home, he immediately went to look for him, but on his way over he saw his wife enter the shed and thought: “Right, I am going to confront these two right now!”, not wanting to catch them in flagrante, for he was a gentleman. He stormed into the shed, pointed at his wife and shouted: “YOU!” He then turned towards the gardener, with another: “And YOU!” and then spotted the old man, whom he´d set eyes on before.
He immediately turned to his wife again and went: “Oh my God, Margaret, what have you done to the man? Just look at the poor wretch!”
I was telling this joke to Wolf, while we were both sitting on a park bench yesterday and when I came to the end, he did not laugh. I rather peevishly asked him: “I´m not boring you, am I?” He turned to me with a straight face and simply said: “No.” Then it dawned on me and I asked him: “You weren´t listening, were you?” And the cretin admitted it and smiled! And then we both laughed. Toodeloo from the both of us!