✆ Welcome To The Psychiatric Hotline ✆ – Joke

From myaeee on the Experience Project.

✆ If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

☎ If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

✆ If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

☎ If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

✆ If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

☎ If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.

✆ If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.


Delusion (Photo credit: FLASHFLOOD®)


About Love…

I once had an insight and I wrote a two page letter about it to my beloved, which just goes to show that the insight I had, had not yet been all that insightful. I´ve now managed to condense it into this one line:

“Love should not be measured in how much it fills you up, but in how it fills up the one you love!”

Love for Arts

Love for Arts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sick Leave – Joke

Foto einer Glühbirne (an),

Foto einer Glühbirne (an), (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From Spicewood on The Spoof!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted ‘Crazy’ then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “Crazy” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What in the name of good GOD are you doing?”

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”

She said, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”