Just try

My handjies is klein. Moenie volmaaktheid verwag wanneer ek ‘n prentjie teken, ‘n bal gooi, my skoenveters vasmaak nie. My beentjies is nog kort. Ek kan nie altyd byhou nie. My oë sien gedurig nuwe dinge raak. Laat my toe om hulle van naderby te ondersoek.
Vergeet die skoolwerk vir ‘n rukkie en verduidelik aan my die dinge wat ek nie van hierdie wêreld verstaan nie. My gevoelens kry ook seer. Moenie op my skree en neul oor dinge wat ek verkeerd doen nie.
Vertroetel my soos ‘n kleinnood. Lei my op die regte pad. Leer my die lewenslesse met liefde.

Elementary, my dear Watson! – Joke

The Sherlock Holmes Museum - 221b Baker Street...

The Sherlock Holmes Museum – 221b Baker Street, London – Dr Watson (Photo credit: ell brown)

From HampshireHaystack on Experience Project.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you dimwit. Some arsehole has stolen our tent.”

A little ditty.

from mkx.feridot.com

Hey there, mister Macho Man,
you may think that I´m a fan,
when you´re doing your BIG bit.
Probably think that you´re a hit,
with y’r posing for the ladies.
But not for a world of maybe-s
would I want to wear your shoes.
That false confidence you ooze
does not impress me at all.
Watch your strut, you might…fall!
I´m dancin´ to a different song,
don´t need to act like King Kong!


The only thing you ever gave me were black and blue eyes,
And it always ended in me letting out cries.

You would come home angry, scream in my face,
Waste no time showing me that I was a disgrace,
Always threatened me, said not to tell,
But everyone knew I was going through hell.

Why should I have to pay for your crime,
Why should I have to take the time,
To cover up the scars and emotions you left for me,
When the teachers and doctors knew I was leaning out, a plea for safety.

I will never forget how you came home at night,
The only emotion I felt was pure fright.

Now that your gone for good,
I can say that I never quite understood,
What I did wrong for you to do that to me,
But now that your gone, I am free.


A bartender sees a cowboy out the window – Joke

from allbestwallpapers.com

From jokideo.com

A bartender is washing a glass and looking out the window of his saloon, when he sees a cowboy tying off his horse and notices him go round to the business end of his horse, lift the tail and kiss the horses asshole. He then goes into the saloon and asks for whiskey !

The bartender, as he is pouring his drink, says:

“In all my years, I’ve never seen a cowboy do that to a horse before. Tell me, stranger, why ???”

The cowboy says: “Chapped lips !”

The bartender asks: “Does that cure ’em?”

The cowboy responds: “Hell no, but it sure stops ya from lickin’ ’em!”

(Shared by Danny Macdonald)