Would you believe it, there I was, right in the middle of concocting another one of my brilliant Tittbits, when the archangel Gabriel had the audacity, the unmitigating nerve to disturb yours truly for some piddling notification! Now I know Gabby, whom I visit on occasion, when I’m in one of my loftier moods, but I have given him fair warning time and again not to disturb me when I’m writing.
This time he came with some utter poppycock about the imminent end of the world. I uttered a dry: „And…“ He answered: „What do mean: and… Are you not in and of this world? Does this not concern you?“ I retorted: „Well, maybe in an oblique sort of way, but that is neither here nor there. You know very well that I shall continue to write my Tittbits for the amusement of my legions of fans, whether they be earthbound or in spirit form. How dare you interrupt a serious author in the midst of his comical endeavours? (Or maybe vice versa?) Now go and annoy somebody else and leave me to my duties!“ He answered: „Alright, Mister Smarty Pants, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!“ and he left in a huff and a puff.
I forthwith re-Christened him Gabby with the Big Gob! And I was not kidding, ladies and gentlemen, when I told Gabby with the Big Gob that I would continue to amuse you with my zany stories even until after the end of time. What are trifling matters such as Armageddon or Apocalypse to a writer, who is in the very serious business of perpetrating comedy, hey? I assure you that I can go on waffling till…
BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!! (= very loud noise)
T (he End)+ a bit -> Ralphie in spirit form: „Oy, I suppose you thought that was funny, hey!!??“
You see, dear readers, Ralphie always has to have the last word and not even the End of the World can stop him from having that!
Ralphie shows up at the Pearly Gates and says to Gabriel: „Right, Mister Celestial Comedian, which way do I go?“ He points at an extremely long queue and says: „Over there!“ I ask: „What are they?“ He answers: „That is the queue for formerly starving freelance writers!“
Even in Heaven we have to wait for our dues! Now I ask you? Maybe he did get the last word in after all. I wonder if they have internet up here. And.. what about my royalties?