Some Aggressive Marketing Seems to be in Order!


Would you please allow me to insert a note of sarcasm into this blog? If not, then please join the long queue of people who can kiss my hairy arse! i am going to grab you all(except for my fans, of course!) by the scruff of the neck and have you take a long hard […]

People’s Republic of China Abolishes Green Tea!


Gleaned from the Beijinxed Gazette: China abolishes green tea for its counter-revolutionary hue. Considered bad news by the U.S. tea party! All green vegetables under glass-house arrest! Green movement to hold global protests! And on a lighter note: Chinese tomatoes make spectacular come-back! Chinese virgins massively buy cherry tomatoes, for popping purposes! Bologna awarded “Friend […]

Kim Kardashian Rides Camel ‘cos Boyfriend Sucks?


I’m a bit of an anti-socialite. I would personally rather start a collection of bird droppings than read all about what some rich bimbo is up to. Apparently every fart emitted by this wonder of the social media is examined closely by the farterazzi, to ascertain whether it might not contain gold-dust. But being an […]

The Thing about Vampires…+


You know how vampires, in the movies, always look dressed to the nines. They never have a hair out-of-place. Two minutes after biting someone and sucking several pints of blood they have a ‘whiter than white smile’. Never any dandruff on their lapels… If they are female, the hairdo is vamptastic. But… how do they […]