Love, with error bars


You heartbreaker, you! I’m all teary-eyed now…

dampsquid

Dear St. Valentine

May I call you St.? Are you at all related to Sesame St.?

Anyway…

I was planning to buy ten roses for the price of a small bungalow, but I got distracted and spent all of my money on anchovies. Will these do instead? I’ve made little cherub wings for them out of toilet paper and suspended them from a wire coat hanger. They look a bit like huge flies. Should I put glitter on them, or would that be weird?

I made a card to go with the anchovies. It says: “I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow and a bit more than next Tuesday; probably about the same as that day last week when you made me beans on toast” but I realised that this would be better expressed with some sort of line graph. Then I got worried…

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Published by Revlang

I am a copywriter and I am committed to making our new technologies understandable to the not-so-very-young generations.

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  1. LMAO , I found a mysterious carrier bag on my doorstep yesterday , got increadibly excited , thought what can it be , who is it from ? Opened it with trembling hands and a joyous heart , only to find an argos catalogue ! Still as I need a new hoover it may yet turn out to be the most useful valentines gift I’ve ever received !

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