Last Thursday night I could not sleep. At three in the morning I gave up and decided to stir around the house for a while. I generally write when sleep eludes me, but, not this night, not this crazy night! I was too restless, and far too wild for candlelit meditations or thoughtful prose. As I attempted to get settled at my desk, I noticed the camera just sitting there when an idea struck me. You know how goofy you can get when you’re up too late and you are truly tired and bored? How foolish musings can feel awe inspiring even when something deep inside of you says, “this is going to be funny in the morning, you big dumb-ass!”
Like always, I did not listen to my higher self, and decided that I would get all dolled up and take some photos of myself~I rationalized that if I got a decent one, I would frame it for my husband for Valentines Day. So, with the spirited wit of a mischievous poltergeist, I got my fat middle aged self all dolled up (well, from the neck up anyway)….and I took a few pictures of myself. To say that these photographs were boring is an understatement, there was no spirit whatsoever to my tired face. I looked bored mostly, entirely uninspired, and utterly “blah”
By now, my little dogs had heard the comotion of my tromping around and came in to see if I might be cooking something that they could seduce me into sharing. When they saw what I was up to, they disappointedly settled their voyeuristic selves onto the sofa to get a sleepy eyed gander at my solitary amusements.
I sat at my desk and looked closer at the images on my camera. My eyes were old and sad, my chin was sagging, my shoulders drooped, there were freckles, age spots, imperfections galore. I was about to delete every picture and start planning my herbal facial restoration and radical diet plan when an inspiration from the dark midnight fueled my creative fires. Music! I needed music! Like they do with those hungry super models to get them “in the mood” I didn’t worry about waking my husband, once he is out, he is dead to the world until five in the morning.
I put on some really sexy stuff. “Sadness” (Mea Culpa) by Enigma is one that never fails to make me feel “other-worldly sensual” so I played it pretty loud for three in the morning and lit a few candles to add a touch of glowing ambiance. As I danced and whirled around the living room, flashes bounced off of the large darkened windows like a disco ball! I wondered if my drug and booze saturated old neighbor down below had seen the flashes and was making his stumbling way up the overgrown hillside to see what all the blue lights were about, and then, the thought left me as quickly as it came and I danced on like a vain teenager, spellbound in front of the mirror….Between you and I, I was secretly having the time of my life!