Before anything else, let me acknowledge this day. Thirty years ago today, I fell in love with Poppa, and Poppa fell in love with me, we are true soul mates. This posting is given in honor of our sacred journey together.

No matter who we are, at some point in our lives, most of us reach a point when we feel that we are ready to find that one true love that will last a lifetime. We’ve even created a term for this elusive person, “our soul mate.”  Some say there is no such person, I strongly disagree.

This “wanting” is only natural. The seeking of a life partner is the way of the human heart.

If you ask any crone witch, she will probably tell you that the most common question she is asked has to do with casting “a love spell”  If she is wise, she will use this query as pathway to a meaningful conversation about the witchly ethics of casting a love spell.

First of all (unless she is one of those charlatans that asks you to send cash for a guaranteed love spell) she will probably tell you that this is a spell that YOU must cast for yourself.  Secondly, if you are consulting with a wise witch, she will encourage you to slow down and think about this impulse before you “DO” anything.

You must know what you want. A soul mate can be a lover, but, a lover is not always a soul mate. Lovers and soul mates are often two very different cats. In magick, one has to be very clear as to exactly what they are seeking. Let me be perfectly clear, I am going to talk here about the kind of love spell that summons a “soul mate” do not confuse these two “cats”

Every witch has her own ways, so, hereafter, I will speak for myself. Personally, I advise against casting love spells with a particular individual in mind. You are swimming in murky water when you intentionally attempt to manipulate another “being” through magick, be careful.  

Don’t be quick to dismiss or to laugh off “magick” as merely an ignorant practice of a superstitious fool. Words and thoughts are “things,” magick is energy, living energy, treat it with respect. When using magick, leave your ego in the broom closet. I have known witches that grew “too big for their ritual robes” (power stricken) and this is not a pretty sight.  It is akin to the old golden rule of “what goes around, comes around” in witchcraft, (as in life) our ill deeds come back to revisit us.  If we are negative, our negativity will come back around, magnified and baring fangs. Remember too, that a spell is a prayer, a whisper to the great Mother, be careful what you ask for, for you surely may get it, therefore, cast in perfect love and in perfect trust, and be wise, cast only after great deliberation.  

Don’t be shallow, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket, a raving beauty, or a well ripped stud man, is not necessarily the one soul that will make you happy, beauty is fleeting, sexual prowess is fleeting.  A soul mate is eternal, perhaps physical attraction is a main ingredient, but surely it is not the only ingredient. Make a list of attributes that are more expansive than appearance alone. Remember, you will want to “talk” with this person! 

I have witnessed magick working for great good, and I have seen the other side of the coin. There is one rule, “Do what you will, and it harm none” Magick is as real as you perceive it to be, before you work your love spell, make sure that you fully understand this one rule. If you wish to control the very will of another human being, you are not ready for the ever yielding give and take of a life-long, loving commitment.

A successful, vigorous “love spell” will require regard for the personal “resolve” of the “other” as its main ingredient. You are seeking a partner, a companion and a lover, not a puppet.

Come to your alter, the good earth, a sandy beach, or a flat rock can serve as your alter, the closer to nature, the better. Come with a clear mind, come with an open heart, and come with an attitude of reverence for nature. You don’t want to bully your energy through, you want to be gracious, after all, you are seeking “The Divine” so, don’t be rude.  Balance your energy, find your power, you don’t want to be feeble. This is why we say that we “practice” magick; it is with experience that we hard-working witches can (sometimes) strike this delicate balance.

Clearly, anyone reading this post is capable of using Google to read up on “love spells,” so I do not feel the need to give recipes here for cooking up a charming little love spell. There are endless possibilities from simple crystal or candle magick to flower and herb charms or the use of personal talismans. If you are merely interested in garden variety love spells, then, my all means, Google away, not everyone is ready for a soul mate, not everyone wants a soul mate. 

First, before anything else, examine your intentions, are they virtuous? Are you seeking this “soul mate” because you feel lonely and empty or because you feel full and overflowing? Are you full of creative wonder and joy, are you so full and overflowing with “good gifts” that you are fervent to share them with another? Only you will know the answer to this. This crone thinks that if you seek love because you are empty, you must take a step back, and consider your life for a long moment.

You may not realize this, but, it is my experience that raw need attracts the needy, emptiness attracts emptiness. You don’t want that, do you? I believe in the law of attraction, so, think about working to become exactly like the person that you are seeking to find.

All good things are worth waiting for. If you are one of those “empty seekers” before casting a love spell designed to summon your one true soul mate, first, you have to get yourself ready, you aren’t ready yet. You must ignite a fire within your spirit.  Postpone your magickal love quest for a few more weeks in order to lay down that most fundamental groundwork that will be essential to the workings of your soul mate love spell.  Do it right, and you will only have to do this once!

Begin to live with focused intention, by this, I mean, do things each day that move you from emptiness to purposefulness. Anything, it doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you do it with commitment and passion. Volunteer your free time to a worthy cause, exercise, create art, read, write, talk to kind strangers, dance, watch comedy, jump in rain puddles, handcraft a quilt, enjoy music, run, play golf, meditate,  if your work takes up your every spare moment, then, do your work with gusto!   (and perhaps you should think about slowing down a little once your soul mate arrives on the scene because your priorities are going to be shifting soon, in order to accommodate all of that love and passion that will be coming your way)

Notice the small things along the path of your life that you would normally ignore. Become thoughtful of what is going on around you, become sensitive, become like a little child, be joyful, wake up, and come to life! Keep track of your observations through journaling, keep a diary and make sure to include the observations of the day that have moved you, or have surprised you, those tiny fragments of your day that were sterling examples of uncommon valor, or rugged beauty, or something deliciously vibrant or genuinely refreshing. Perhaps you observed an act of tender mercy, or you were captivated by the merry laughter of a bouncing baby, write about these images that you do not want to ever forget, or, if you have the skill, you could paint them.  My point is to pluck these scenes out of the garden of life, and allow them to feed your hungry soul, again and again.

Consider the faces of strangers and of friends in a deeper way. Discern the color of everyone’s eyes, are those eyes lit with light, are they wise eyes, are they flat, uninspired eyes, are they warm, inviting eyes, are they interesting, stimulating eyes? Investigate the expressions on the faces of the people in your work place or on the bus, or in line at the market. Are they tired, are they sad, (why?) do they radiate joy, are they looking into your eyes, are you aware of what they see there?

Become aware of what your own face and body are saying to people. Without realizing it, your face and body are telling your secrets, what kind of secrets do you really want to share with the world?

Consider what is authentic and what is not. Observe nature, study flowers and rocks, close your eyes, rest your face on a stone wall, and accept its heat, or it’s cold, graciously. Run your hands over the bark of a tree that you have looked upon for years, but, have never once touched. Take your shoes off and feel the earth beneath your bare feet. Your feet are worthy of gratitude, they have carried you about the earth since they were very small and tender. Become grateful for your health, for your body, for your life exactly as it is. Respect and honor your place upon the earth, accept that there is nothing wrong with you, you are entirely worthy of love, in fact, you are deserving of perfect love. Accept who you are, where you are, how you are, what you are. If you feel that you need to change something about yourself, do it, begin the transformation today. If not, smile and be happy with yourself.  Harvest the ripening day-to-day wonders of your own solitary life.

Do all of these things for five new moons, if you do all of this, for that period of time, you will no longer feel empty inside. You will be bursting with life and you will need to share that spark with another! You won’t be able to keep that kind of pleasure and passion to yourself.

Since you have read this far, let me say, thank you for hanging in there. Now, I am ready to tell you how to cast your perfect soul mate friendly love spell, and now …you are ready to hear me.  If you have read this far, your heart is in it, and, you must have some level of trust in what I am going to say. A fully engaged and willing heart and a heaping measure of trust are the most important characteristics of any magickal love spell.

Personally, unless you are a witch and really know your stuff, (if you are, you probably won’t be reading this) I would forget all manner of “hooey.” One can become so entangled in the form and the tools of their magick, that they lose their magickal intention within the details. We won’t do that.

For the non-witch that wishes to cast a pure and authentic love spell, I would use ONLY your voice, your body, your heart, your mind, and your soul for your essential spell work. There is much to be said for simple elegance in magick. The idea is to be heard, to be understood, to make your simple plea (for a soul mate) by connecting directly to heart of “The Divine,” “The Great Mother,”  “The Goddess,” or “God,” whatever term you embrace with the most devotion, the most intimacy and the most clarity. You are set now to travel to the heart of the Great Mother to find your one true soul mate.

Timing: A thoughtful love spell (like any craft of the heart) is not instantaneous, it takes time.  Take the time, make the effort, and spend the energy. Work with the moon to escalate the power of your spell, let your magick take root, and allow it to grow as the moon grows, join with the forces of nature. Weave and braid your very heartbeat into the heartbeat of the Great Mother. Begin when the moon is new and work to the full moon.

 I would “proclaim” my “love spell” upon each rising, and again, at night, before each slumber. You can work indoors or outdoors, I won’t go into casting a circle, I am writing this as an informal spell for the non-witch individual, for those that wish to formally practice witchcraft, (by the book) there are plenty of opportunities for education and training, that is not what I am doing here.

1)Take a bath, add some aromatic bath salts, soak off the stresses of your life, breath in through your nose, exhale through your mouth, relax, keep breathing, feel the warm water around you, encircling you, be grateful for the pleasant, warm sensation of the water, be grateful for all of the elements. Earth, Air, Water, and Fire. Envision them all, consider them all. Close your eyes connect with them all. 

2) Clearing Your Space: Find a private, serene space, make it your own, clear it, meaning, clean the space of negative energy. Don’t work within a space that you associate with bad feelings or bad memories. You can sprinkle sea salt around this space or you can light a white candle, you can burn incense (like they do in church) but don’t fall asleep with incense or candles burning! You can place clear glass jars with lemons tucked in them in the four corners of the room (if working indoors) for a couple of days prior to your spell work, any or all of the above will suffice, as long as you take possession of your space and make it a sacred place in which you can freely work your magick.  Do some research if you like, find what clearing methods suit your personal tastes.

3)Posture: Raise your hands in the air, wiggle your fingers, use them to direct your energy…plant your bare feet firmly on the floor, center yourself, this will boost the energy of your spell, working nude (sky clad) or clothed, whatever makes you feel more at ease, just be comfortable.

At Last….

Speak aloud the following affirmations: (Feel free to put your own spin on it; this is YOUR love spell after all!)

A Soul Mate Love Spell:

 “I am here, find me, in the entire world, there is only one me. I am perfect for you; find me, there is only one you, you are perfect for me, I will find you. I am worthy of your perfect love, you are worthy of my perfect love, we will find one another.

I have this complete love to offer to you, you have complete love to offer me; I am inviting you, I am  invoking you, whoever you are, wherever you are, feel my energy and come into my life. 

With you, I will share my whole self and all that is precious to me. I will bless your life, you will bless my life, I am ready, you are ready, I am worthy, you are worthy, and we are worthy together.

I am here, come to me, you are there, I am coming to you….make yourself known to me, and I will make myself known to you….

“And it harm none, so mote it be.”