Lost in the Post


I was reading one of those magazines

With pictures of girls from thePhilippines

It said they delivered ‘brides by post’ 

So I picked out the girl I liked the most

Now she was a girl named Angelina

Dressed in a bikini down at the marina

She looked real good laid on the deck

So I filled in the form and wrote out a check

I watched for the postman coming to my house

To deliver a package containing my spouse

But I never got the girl I liked the most

My mail order bride got lost in the post

I went to the Post Office in the High Street

I said to the clerk ’I’m expecting a treat

A hot Asian babe from over the sea

Please tell me that you have a parcel for me’

‘Can you describe the contents please’?

I said  ‘Five feet tall with 36Cs’

But he couldn’t find the girl I liked the most

I guess she must have got lost in the post

I begged him to please take another look

So he opened up an important looking book

As he read these words I was so dismayed

’ Returned to Sender – Postage Underpaid’

So I reached right over gave him a smack

For sending my cute Filipina back

For she was the girl I liked the most

My mail order bride was returned in the post

He said ‘Hey man adjust your attitude

When your girl arrived she was in the nude

She should have worn postage stamps at least

So we had no choice but to send her back East ‘

Sweet Angelina, I never even kissed her

So I got the magazine and ordered her sister

‘Cos she’s the girl I like second most

I hope she doesn’t get lost in the post

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