I was slumped on my sister’s sofa one day and happy thoughts were the furthest thing from my mind. I thought that a visit there might possibly lift my spirits a bit and it would make a change from going to the pub and getting plastered. It was one of those periods in my life, when nothing seemed to go right and the tunnel, far from having a light at the end of it, seemed to have caved in.
I was living outside of myself and feeling lost and utterly alone. A spectator looking at a miserable heap of misery, which only I could fully see or grasp, because I had built a perimeter wall around me of feigned indifference that nobody could pierce(or so I thought!) I was definitely out of balance, my yang had booted my yin up the behind and my soul felt sore all over.
I was staring mindlessly at the telly, when it somehow registered that some other human beings had entered the premises. I was my father’s second wife’s daughter and her little girl, come to pay a visit. I grunted a hello and continued to stare into space, annoyed at the interruption. Basically, I did not want to be disturbed and believe me when I tell you that you’d rather mess with an angry grizzly than with me, when I want to be left alone. This is because of the fear of letting up my defenses for even a fraction, because then all the repressed emotions would come tumbling out and I would have no way of stopping them, you understand?
After about an hour, the little girl scrambled up the couch and cuddled up next to me, putting her head against my chest. My “Do not disturb!” face had not fazed her in the least. She must have seen right through me! She stayed there immobile and I didn’t move either. At first I was startled, but then a warm glow started to infuse me and I thought: “Whow! There is one person on this planet that seems to care about me.” This precious child reconnected me with the world, without conscious thought, merely by being there. I felt reborn and invigorated and ever so slowly a smile began to form on my countenance.
Thank the universe for the little ones, who in their selfless way give us a reason to go on struggling and to swim against the current, when times are tough. This one act of kindness meant more to me than anything else that anyone could have thought of. I kissed her head and swept her up in my arms and started dancing around the living room with her, to her infinite delight. My sister was dumbfounded at the change in me.
I still did not understand what on Earth my task was on this planet, but it gave me the strength to go on and at least spread some joy for other people. I shall hold her sweet face in fond remembrance till the day I die. Thank you Melissa! Providence does seem to give us a helping hand, when we need it most and in the most unlikely of forms!!