I was slumped on my sister’s sofa one day and happy thoughts were the furthest thing from my mind. I thought that a visit there might possibly lift my spirits a bit and it would make a change from going to the pub and getting plastered. It was one of those periods in my life, when nothing seemed to go right and the tunnel, far from having a light at the end of it, seemed to have caved in.

I was living outside of myself and feeling lost and utterly alone. A spectator looking at a miserable heap of misery, which only I could fully see or grasp, because I had built a perimeter wall around me of feigned indifference that nobody could pierce(or so I thought!) I was definitely out of balance, my yang had booted my yin up the behind and my soul felt sore all over.

I was staring mindlessly at the telly, when it somehow registered that some other human beings had entered the premises. I was my father’s second wife’s daughter and her little girl, come to pay a visit. I grunted a hello and continued to stare into space, annoyed at the interruption. Basically, I did not want to be disturbed and believe me when I tell you that you’d rather mess with an angry grizzly than with me, when I want to be left alone. This is because of the fear of letting up my defenses for even a fraction, because then all the repressed emotions would come tumbling out and I would have no way of stopping them, you understand?

Moderately annoyed grizzly bear - from


After about an hour, the little girl scrambled up the couch and cuddled up next to me, putting her head against my chest. My “Do not disturb!” face had not fazed her in the least. She must have seen right through me! She stayed there immobile and I didn’t move either. At first I was startled, but then a warm glow started to infuse me and I thought: “Whow! There is one person on this planet that seems to care about me.” This precious child reconnected me with the world, without conscious thought, merely by being there. I felt reborn and invigorated and ever so slowly a smile began to form on my countenance.

Thank the universe for the little ones, who in their selfless way give us a reason to go on struggling and to swim against the current, when times are tough. This one act of kindness meant more to me than anything else that anyone could have thought of. I kissed her head and swept her up in my arms and started dancing around the living room with her, to her infinite delight. My sister was dumbfounded at the change in me.

I still did not understand what on Earth my task was on this planet, but it gave me the strength to go on and at least spread some joy for other people. I shall hold her sweet face in fond remembrance till the day I die. Thank you Melissa! Providence does seem to give us a helping hand, when we need it most and in the most unlikely of forms!!


The Gibbet’s Curse

A wooden scaffold is being built

Consequence of my proven guilt

The convicts from a prison gang

Build a frame from which I’ll hang

The pastor visits as he planned

He puts a Bible in my hand

He tells me I must not lose hope

Of escaping the gibbet’s rope

I pray to God for what it’s worth

Tomorrow is my last on Earth

I wait alone throughout the night

For death to come at morning light

Rays of sunlight enter my room

Harbingers of impending doom

The ending of my mortal life

Alone without a friend or wife

Outside some people laugh and joke

I ask the guard ‘Who are those folk?’

He says ‘Please do not ask me why

But they are here to watch you die’

‘Have they nothing better to do

Than come here for a close up view?

And watch me die in this fashion

With no respect, no compassion?’

Upon the door there comes a knock

A metal key turns in the lock

 ‘It’s time to go’ the jailer sighs

A mournful look is in his eyes

A hush falls on the waiting crowd

A harsh remark is spoken loud

I take note of the perpetrator

I’ll deal with him a little later

I climb the steps with feet of lead

Gibbet’s noose goes over my head

The hangman he is looking grim

As tho’ the rope was meant for him

A mistral wind that smells of pine

The sweet scent of the columbine

Fields of clover, a cloudless sky

The perfect day on which to die

A hawk hangs on a thermal breeze

Free to go where it may please

Its flies so high and flies so free

I dearly wish that it were me

‘Is there anything you wish to tell

Before I send you down to Hell’

‘To Hell I’m going, that is true

And I’ll be waiting there for you’

The heckler stands among the ghouls

 The heartless fool who ridicules

‘The Gibbet’s Curse on you’ I cry

‘Who mocks someone about to die’

The pastor prays but no one hears

The heckler he breaks down in tears

My feet no longer feel the floor

I disappear through death’s trapdoor

The Nuclear Rain

I am lying on this hillside

underneath the nuclear rain

The radioactive fallout

is feeding on my brain

I’m now the sole survivor

of a world that went insane

I am sighing on this hillside

underneath the nuclear rain

The birds of midnight droned

their grim requiem of death

Their bellies held destruction

and the world held its breath

Then satan’s manic mushroom

formed a cloud before our eyes

Which billowed up from hell

and spread across the skies

We were all found to be guilty

when it came to judgment day

We were given a death sentence

and we blew ourselves away

Now the noxious acid gases

from the chemical attack

Permeate the atmosphere

 and turn our rivers black

I am crying on this hillside

for the sadness of our fate

The consequence of hatred

we all failed to contemplate

I have a splitting headache

and I’m doubled up in pain

I am dying on this hillside

underneath the nuclear rain

Purple Dayz

Yes we listened to the sabbath

We went tripping with the dead

Whilst the politics of ecstasy

Were whirling in our heads

We were dust upon the wind

We were drops of acid rain

That dropped in strawberry fields

And flowed down penny lane

Diamonds glittered in the sky

And major tom was lost in space

And when Jimi had departed

There were none to take his place

Yes we surfed with castaneda

Upon the waves of mescaline

And we found a new messiah

The one and only doctor tim

On the dark side of the moon

We had a great gig in the sky

We climbed the stair to heaven

Where the zeppelin flew high

We passed around a peace pipe

With our good friend mary jane

We went chasing after rabbits

On a horse that had no name

Yes we all put on some cream

With two axe men and a baker

Poor ronnie became a free bird

And miss joplin met her maker

But the front door fell to pieces

After riding out the storm

And jesus christ the superstar

Onto the stage was born

The heat went up the country

With a blind owl and a bear

And the dawning of aquarius

Turned dark in deep despair

Questions answered questions

But the captain he just grinned

Bobby couldn’t find the answers

That were blowing in the wind

When they laid down abbey road

The four kings were all but done

While tommy smashed a mirror

And rotten johnny spoiled the fun

We saw smoke upon the water

When we crossed the bridge of sighs

The purple dayze of rock and roll

Had reached their sad demise