Unfortunate, but true!


Old Beggar, 1916, by Louis Dewis, painted just...
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I think it´s going to be one of them days! I had difficulty getting up this morning, because all my muscles were hurting(ok, ok, the atrophied bits that are all that remain of what used to be Sly Stallone material). I don´t know, maybe it´s the heat that causes it. Seeing as, in this weather, I´m not prone to over-exertion. So, I was hurting all over, penniless and bloody starving. Did I tell you that I´m two stone(about thirty pounds) underweight? This is due, in part, to last winter, which was not the high point of my existence. But enough about that! I went to my pitch, hoping to make enough for a bite to eat, but no such luck.

After about an hour, my stomach was starting to growl so loudly, that the neighbours came and complained. I sighed, got up and told myself that there was nothing for it, but to go and check the bins for some food. I know that some people will find this gross, but to them I ask the following question: Have you ever, in your entire lifetime, been well and truly hungry? If you haven´t, don´t be too quick to judge! Remember the saying: There but for the grace of God, go I! By the way, I do apologise, for the insalubrious nature of the topic for this Tittbit, but I write them how I find them, if you catch my drift!?

I was in the process of going through a particular bin, when a Spanish beggar came up to me and asked ME! for some change!!?? I gave him an incredulous look and didn´t say anything. And belive you me, when it comes to giving incredulous looks, I´m a master. Then this moron or so I thought, repeated his plea. This really pissed me off! I asked him if he couldn´t see that I was going through the vins myself, looking for some grub. And I told him not to blag a blagger and that there were a gazillion rich people out there, that he could ask. I was getting worked up and I was ready to give him a substantial piece of my mind, when all of a sudden, he threw a clanger at me. He told me, in a quiet, deliberate tone of voice: “Yes Sir, but then…they don´t care, you see! And I thought that maybe you would…”

This produced a mindquake in me, that´s to say, a sudden shift in perception. I could utterly understand now, where he was coming from and it brought tears to my eyes(speck of dust!). I explained that, this day I was buggered, the same as him and that if I had any money, I´d give him some and that if I had any food, I´d share it with him(which I certainly would!). He said that he understood and he wished me luck. I did the same and we went our separate ways. I´d like to state here, for the record, that I know, that not all rich people are heartless. But from experience, I can say that someone who has suffered himself, is more likely to share something with another that is worse off than himself. It always depends on the person, of course!

So, this man had saddled me with a guilt trip. Whether this was on purpose or inadvertently, I don´t know. And to make matters even worse, after a fruitless search all over town, I came to my begging spot and found a whole bag of food, that some very kind person had left there for me. But I didn´t know this other beggar from Adam, so I didn´t even know where to look for him, in order to share! Needless to say, I ate and when my pal Dermott dropped by, I asked him if he´d eaten, but he had already. I do hope that this other poor sod got lucky aswell!

It´s not like me to moan and groan like this, is it? I can´t leave you like this! I shall look on the bright side. Do you know what the advantage is, of looking like a stick insect? It makes it easier to hide amongst the bushes, should the need arise! Haha…! Bon appetit! Oh, if the generous person, who contributed this lovely food were to read this, I´ll have you know Sir or Lady, that I greatly appreciate it! You have the blessings of a beggar with a full stomach(for now)!

Published by raburcke

I am a comedy writer, oil painter and the founder of this site. Do join me and we will make it a place that everyone will be happy to visit.

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  1. How can one be envious, and yet, how can one NOT be envious? ….I am far from rich, but on the other hand, I have never been hungry, not really. I will take this one with me Ralphie. I will savour it. Well done friend.

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