I was really worried all weekend because I lost my identity card. I was trying to remember where I left it and this morning it finally came to me. I am here in the library and you have to give your ID for them to record it for statistical purposes. I came here this morning and told the lady that I had a tiny problem. She whipped out my ID and asked if that was my tiny problem. If jumped for joy and praised the Lord and all the saints and shouted: “Halleluya!” That bit of plastic cost me 80 Euros, which is a humongous amount for me! Anyways, I’m happy to have gotten it back.
- Happy Face? (ralphiesportal.me)
Ralphie A Burcke, the Lord’s High Scribbler has just published a short story on Smashwords.com.
Anybody who is interested, go to:
It costs 1.99 $, but an arm or a leg will be accepted aswell! Hugs from Ralphie.
Parody on Genesis, guaranteed to crack you up! The Almighty Bud first created the Prime Mates, who lost the wisdom and went up the trees to eat bananas. A second batch was called for: the Dummies who are thick as pig shit, because of the loss of the wisdom. The female Dumas save the day. They have a secret, but nobody´s interested, which pisses them off. Their vengeance will be terrible!
Image via CrunchBase
Something momentous happened yesterday, which may not mean a lot to you. I sold the very first copy of my first publication “Tittbits” on Smashwords.com, my fledgling creation, my first-born baby has finally been acknowledged by another human being. After eight long months of lying on the internet shelves, someone was kind enough to take one copy home to read in peace and have a chuckle with. It can not be stroked, caressed or smelled like you can a paper book, but nevertheless a little piece of my psyche is now in someone else´s hands, to have and to hold and to cherish for all eternity(or a trifle less).
Will he or she like it or sneer at it in disdain? Oh dear, don´t tell me, for the agony, the heartbreak might be my undoing! Let me continue in my belief that my child has found a loving foster parent. In fact, in would now like to entreat all my readers NOT to buy a copy, because the suspense of waiting for a sign of your approval or utter loathing would turn me into a nervous wreck, prematurely grey and weak of heart and limb… How can other authors stand this torture?
I can hear my old pal Dermott in Fuengirola saying: “Ralphie, old bean, I think you´ve gone overboard, your train has derailed and your marbles have yet again been scattered to the four corners of the globe(can a globe has corners, by the way?) Snap out of it! It´s only a friggin´book.” Dermott really doesn´t have a clue, does he?
Anyways, the book costs 8.99$ and six of those are ALL mine! But Smashwordsonly pays every trimester. I am therefore giddy with anticipation about this enormous wealth about to come my way at the end of the month of September of the beginning of October. My literary oeuvre is bearing fruit at last. I´ve already ordered the yacht, by the way! Toodeloo, gang, hugs from Ralphie.
Rose et amour….rosa y amor ….rose d’amour ..rosa de amor.. // Explore (Photo credit: photosylvia / silabox…occupée)
I´ve been having daydreams about a bed, as opposed to sleeping on the concrete with a piece of cardboard as a mattress. A bed: a white sea of softness, to swim in while dreaming that smells of roses and lavender. A tender pillow, made for hugging during the long, cold nights. Silken sheets that caress my body with a soft ´swish, swish´as I turn from side to side. A light woolen blanket, the touch of which sends me into a deep slumber, the sheep having already been counted. And then to wake up in this little corner of paradise to the divine smell of brewing coffee. Mmmm… maybe someday Ralphie!
Since I wrote this, I have only slept on the street once, thanks to all the wonderful pilgrims I have met, who help me out! I shall hold them in my heart for ever!