I plead guilty, ladies and gentlemen, it’s not that I’m terminally stupid, but certain things are and always will be beyond me…
For example, try as I may, I will NEVER understand women! I’ve talked with them at length, I’ve lived with some and I’ve slept with some, but I do not comprehend certain peculiarities that they persist in. For example, if I see my girlfriend with a dishevelled hairdo, tears running down her cheeks and sobbing her cotton socks off, I tend to think that maybe something might be wrong with her. But upon inquiry, I steadfastly get a negative answer and when I want to leave it at that, she gets upset! For why?
But these are trifling matters. I will also never fathom why some people drink tea instead of coffee? Or that yucky Pepsi instead of Coca-Cola? And sacrilege of sacrileges, why some people drink decaffeinated coffee? Or alcohol-free beer? The ludicrous insensibility of it! You see , I was thinking of an example to compare to about how silly this is and my mind is a blank, which proves once and for all that I am for all intents and purposes: an idiot!
The same goes for when I’m in an argument, my mind goes: “——————————————–” or if you will “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. But the moment that my adversary leaves, this blasted space between my ears starts spouting the most brilliant retorts known to man(slight exaggeration perhaps!), when it’s too friggin’ late! Once I actually ran after the bugger, but the second I caught up with him, my cerebrum went into stupid-mode again. At times I feel like tearing all my hair out by the roots, for frustration.
And another thing: those books for dummies are too difficult! My ineptness is too great for me to understand them. I have stupid questions, which these people have never thought of! I have invented ways of fouling up, messing up and fucking things up that may well be extra-terrestrial! Perhaps I am indeed a Master of Stupidity! Stupid, stupider, stupidest, Ralphie.
Anyways, upon reading certain blogs here on WordPress, I have spied with my little eye, things that made me remark: “I could have done that! I’m definitely silly enough to think or try that!” and so on. In short, I have spied a kindredness of stupidity that has touched my heart, in many bloggers(blonde or otherwise!) on this platform. It is for this reason that I invite all of you who think that you also fit into this category to join this club and share some delicious anecdotes with your fellow-dimwits.