My Gran's wonderful furry companion FrancisTake cover!
From Szczecińska Gubałówka
Tag Archive: Humor
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
From Feelings Are Made Of Glass
Hurray for the potatoe… Isn’t it lovely and silent?
From ShArE ThE LaUgH
You tell ‘em, Don!
From Interesting Amazing World
But … shucks!
From I LOVE TO LAUGH!
Who is it?
From Buckle up, Bitches
Pastafari Katz! This wonderful new religion is growing like there is no tomorrow…
From عجايب (๏̯͡๏)
Insignificant little insects that we are.
From I fucking love science
Note from Ralphie: I am considering converting as I have seen the sauce, which is rather cheeky.
“Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?”
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also know as Pastafarianism, is a tongue in cheek religion supposedly founded by beer-loving pirates. The “FSM,” this alternative religion’s lone deity, can be found on bumper stickers and humorous websites across the country. Read on to learn the fundamentals of America’s most carbohydrate-laden religion.
Origins of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
You may have seen this on a bumper sticker at some point.
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was founded in May 2005 when its founder, Bobby Henderson, disseminated an open letter to the Kansas State Department of Education regarding a hearing they held about whether or not to teach the theory of Intelligent Design alongside the theory of Evolution in Kansas public schools. The stated purpose of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is to not impose religious dogma on its followers. Every follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is free from mandatory rituals, prayers, and other religious ceremonies. Instead, every adherent is encouraged to form their interpretation of the FSM to their own purposes.
The first Pastafarians, according to Henderson, were pirates who were wrongly bedeviled by Christians for their alternative religious beliefs. Because of the CotFSM’s piratical heritage, today’s Pastafarians closely affiliate themselves with pirate culture. Perhaps the most noticeable manifestation of this is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s outright support of beer consumption.
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Beliefs
According to the tenets of Pastafarianism, the belief system underlying the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Spaghetti Monster created today’s world though it is still unknown as to why the Flying Spaghetti Monster has made it appear that the earth is actually billions of years old and not thousands of years old. Pastafarianism also cannot explain why life is behaves according to Darwin’s evolutionary theory instead of along the lines of the theory of Intelligent Design which conventional religions embrace.
While the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not enforce a set of religious beliefs, orthodox pastafarianism considers Fridays are considered by to be a religious holiday.
Regardless of Henderson insistance that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not a joke, the Church of the FSM is mostly a tongue-in-cheek religion that has struck a cord, generally a humor cord, with many. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which lays out the fundamental beliefs of Pastafarianism and the church itself, can be considered an elaborate satire on Intelligent Design. The Gospel was nominated for a Quill award in the humor category in 2006.
From Xodó
Well… don’t they?
from tumfweko.com
Look at my brain scan…
From Interesting & Creative Designs
From cheleshere on Experience Project:
Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One held a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David. Many people passed by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar holding the Cross.
The Pope came by and stopped to watch the number of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross, while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of David. The Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit here with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just to prove a point.”
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turning to the beggar with the Cross, said, “Moshe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!”
Snopake’s Star of David (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The poor sod was never heard of again.
From FB Troublemakers
Been there, experienced it!
From Exposing this sorry world to my own brand of twisted humor.
The IQs of a large enough population are calculated so that they conform S.E. Embretson & S.P.Reise: Item response theory for psychologists, 2000. #v=onepage&q&f=false to a normal distribution. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
From FB~ Troublemakers
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
*******
(1) “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.”
(2) “His men would follow him anywhere…but only out of morbid curiosity.”
(3) “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
(4) “This employee is really not so much of a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ‘won’t be’.”
(5) “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
(6) “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
(7) “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
(8) “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
(9) “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
(10) “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
(11) “This employee should go far…and the sooner he starts, the better.”
(12) “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.”
(13) “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
(14) “He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.”
(15) “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
(16) “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
(17) “He’s been working with glue too much.”
(18) “He would argue with a signpost.”
(19) “He has a knack for making strangers immediately.”
(20) “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
(21) “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
(22) “If you see two people talking and one looks bored…he’s the other one.”
(23) “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
(24) “A prime candidate for natural deselection.”
(25) “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
(26) “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
(27) “Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
(28) “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
(29) “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
(30) “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.”
(31) “It’s hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.”
(32) “One neuron short of a synapse.”
(33) “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
(34) “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.”
(35) “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
It really works!
From ZottenDotCom
My Gran can!
From Maja Salkanovic
Courtesy of Lieven, the newest model, Gran.
From Lieven Grillaert
For shame!
From Libidokruiden.nl
Roflmao.
From Sick Bastard’s photo.
And they know they shouldn’t!
From FB Troublemakers
Sooo funny.
From FB Troublemakers
Gran?
From Unlimited Laughter
Soooooo funny.
From Libidokruiden.nl
What if one day the world were ruled by chickens, gigantic ones, who came zapping along the highway in their chicken-mobiles? And they saw some dumb human standing on the side of the road asking himself whether he should cross or not. What would they say to themselves? -> Whatever he´s thinking, I don´t give a shit, I like my humans crusty!
What does a chicken ask itself before it crosses a busy road?
Who gives a shit? I like mine crispy!
True…
From FB~ Troublemakers
151rby
drago7
RubIxSKube
lieven001
pollyweaver
raburcke
selangornight
sheilarosskuhn
snypha
tigerlillyxxxx
