Ralphie´s Portal

In my dream I walk along a thin spaghetti bridge

High up in clouds of candy floss, it leads me to a fridge

Inside the fridge I walk along a path of velvet eels

One gets between my toes, I don’t like the way it feels

I see there is a doorway in a round magenta cheese

It opens to a forest full of purple pasta trees

A garden gnome pops up from an orange jelly stream

I ask him who he is and what he’s doing in my dream

He says his name is Snorkel from the bottom of Loch Ness

And tells me that he’s in my dream due to a wrong address

He proffers me a packet labelled ‘Made inNorth Tibet’

From the packet I select a king size rhubarb cigarette

 ‘But dreams don’t have addresses, please do you have a light?’

‘Land of Nod,Lotfour three two, first bedroom on the right

You see the address is written on this plastic macaroon’

‘My door is second right, you should be in my brother’s room’

He cried ‘Oh pickled gherkins! Now whatever shall I do?

I should be in your bro’s dream and it’s half past quarter two’

‘Why don’t you go there then’? I say. ‘Its better late than never’

‘I can’t just walk out from a dream it’s just not done, not ever’

‘So how do you depart from a dream for goodness sake’?

‘Rule Number One – don’t leave until the dreamer is awake’

A flying scarlet albatross performs a sausage roll

‘You’re in the piccalilli now, they’ve sent the Dream Patrol’

Snorkel scratches his long beard with a cock-a-leekie stick

‘Maybe I should call them, and say that I’m off sick’

‘Who is them? I ask him ‘For whom is it you work’?

‘I’m on the staff of Dream Machine owned by a Scottish Turk’

‘I resemble my dear brother, perhaps they’ll never know’

That you were never in his room’ An eel bites my big toe

He says ‘Look, in the dream, I have a special role to play’

‘Play it in my dream instead, does it matter either way?

‘If you read your brother’s dreamplay, you may be too shy

To take your brothers place, you see he’s gay, and so am I’

I had no clue at all that he is gay I must confess

But at least it does explain why he wears our sister’s dress