Screw from Ralphie. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I must be missing a screw,
I noticed this surprising fact
just now over breakfast.
I was searching for my sleeping cap,
yes, just like that I do things
that make me sit up and wonder…
Hey, isn’t that chicken defrosted yet?
‘Cause this egg is much too cold!
~ Hunhh…??? ~
I wrote this originally in Dutch:
Ik ben zeker een schroefje kwijt.
Dit hoogst opvallend feit
merkte ik net nu bij’t ontbijt.
Ik zocht toen naar m´n slaapmuts…
Ja, zonder erbij stil te staan
doe ik dingen van je weet maar nooit.
Zeg, is die kip nou al ontdooit?
Want dit ei is wel heel erg koud!
~ Hè??!! ~
Have to get up early tomorrow, at the ungodly hour of half past nine! That’s indecent exposure for my delicate warm-weather skin, it bein’ so cold and all! Hibernation is starting to sound better and better every day. Where is this country of Hiber located anyways? I might emigrate over there! The language can’t be that difficult to learn, they probably communicate by snoring…
If’n anybody knows, you be sure to holler, you hear!
Myspring by Ralphie!
I vote we get rid of the calendar altogether. Who needs is anyway? It’s so annoying, don’t you think? What day is it? Who cares! Wouldn’t it be nice, if you could just say: “Why, it’s Myday!” No more waiting for Thank-God-it’s-Friday ever again!
The same goes of course for weeks and months, if anybody asks: “But Sir/Madam, it’s Myweek in Mymonth!”
I would loosely allow for the season’s to be kept on. But just to be annoying, I’m having Myspring now, instead of later on in Mymonth. Hey, the sun is shining and it’s pleasantly warm here in the south of Spain, so why not. You can have Yourwinter, should you so choose!
And evidently, I was born in MYyear. Duh!! Did you have to ask?
I could write much, much more on this riveting topic, but I’m having Myholiday, so I can’t be bothered! Nananananh…
If you vote Ralphie for Internet President, I shall make this the first amendment to Myconstitution, make that Ourconstitution. Unless you would like Yourownconstitution, which would be ok by me.
Image by Laurabot_ via Flickr
Why is it that my mouth runs off by itself, without my authorisation?
Why is it that my thoughts come so fast that my tongue can not keep up?
Is there something wrong with the cabling?
The distance between the two is not that far!
The shortest distance between point A and B is a straight line, is it not?
Well, not in the case of the wiring between my chatterbox and my mind!
Perhaps the connection has been scrambled or the translator has gone home!
In any case, I’m in a right pickle and this mess should be sorted out. A wiring expert is needed. I shall place an ad and pray that the right one comes along, for to fix this quagmire of inconsistencies a genius should be found.
An additional problem springs to mind: what if said genius were to show up, how would I get my blither-muscle to cooperate in explaining what I need? Another conundrum indeed!
Image via Wikipedia
When you enter Ralphie’s Portal
For a giggle and a chortle
The things you find, will blow your mind
And you will feel immortal
P.S.: Selangornight is of course our resident Poetry Magician!
Milky Way (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Lord, I want a lot,
a whole lot of cocoa,
to sprinkle amongst the Milky Way…
Some stirring would be nice!
And a very long straw, Lord,
that reaches to my bed,
so as I can slurp and slurp
until I snore, please Lord!
email@example.com via zoom.netatlantic.com
29 Nov (9 days ago)
Image by mary hodder via Flickr
Thanks for your definition of Schmuckles!
Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on urbandictionary.com.
It should appear on this page in the next few days:
Lefty got done, too many schmuckles!
Post-it - mylot.com
I wish my brain were a Post-it,
Hung on a refrigerator door,
But it probably wouldn’t stick!
I’d let that one slide, if I were you.
I am a little man, on a little world, in a little solar system, in a tiny galaxy that is but a spore carried on the winds of evermore, which might one day evolve into something significant, such as a mushroom, for a toad to use as a stool. I am puny indeed!
But then, on the other hand, sometimes I feel a love within me that could encompass the entire universe. I am a contradiction in body and spirit.
Image via Wikipedia
Oh, did you loose a day?
I once lost a whole year.
But imagine my joy,
when I found it again!