Ralphie´s Portal

“This doddering toddler is just showing off!”
muttered the old man, half meant as a scoff.
“‘Cause his dithering’s a sham and disgrace.
This baby should really be put in his place.

From now on ye’ll see me dodder no more!”
He nearly stuttered and went on with a roar:
“This blithering child is a young politician,
surrounded by nodders and yes-men and -women!

It should not be allowed”, he hollered from bed.
“I swear, I shall convert to plodding instead,
but this diapered bandit is probably into that too!
I tell ye he feigns his forgettin’, this Diaperty-doo.

And ye all fall for it, Fi! Now need I say more?
Do bring me my slippers, for my feet they get sore!”
Oh Lord give me strength, I think ‘t is time for me nap.
Mother, say where did I leave me sleeping cap?”

“‘t Is on your bald head, you silly old fool!”
retorted our Gran, “now wipe off yer drool!
You leave the boy be and make no mistake,
I prefer you asleep, than so loud and awake!”

When after fussin’ a while, she did tuck him in,
she planted a kiss on his stubbly old chin.
‘Cause for all the cussin’ and swearin’ and such,
she cared for her grumpy coot, ever so much.

Same as he did for her, I’m sure you’ll understand.
He lay smiling and grinned as he held his wife’s hand.
He whispered: “I guess deep down he’s not a bad lad.
And he has the best Gran any boy could have had.”

She flushed and she shushed him and said:”Go to sleep!”
Then turned around quick, ‘fore she started to weep,
weep with affection for this skinny old man in his bed
and thought of that fine day, when both they were wed.