From Herrdoktorfox on The Spoof!
A Scotsman takes a huge jar of urine to a clinic and pays to have it tested. When the results come back he discovers that there is absolutely no sign of any illness. He gets on the phone and says: “It’s me, Willie. tell your Aunty Mary that there’s nothing wrong with you, her, me,Grandpa, or the dog.”
My friend Lil Ralphie is back on the streets tonight. Here I sit listening to a sleeping house, I am unable to sleep. I am thinking of where Lil Ralphie might be sleeping, I am asking myself “is he safe, what might he be eating, is he hungry, how will he have coffee when he wakes, he loves his coffee so, and cigarettes, who will give him a smoke?” What will tomorrow bring? Will someone befriend him and offer him aide, is he really as street wise as he says he is? He’s awfully kind to be so tough.
Are stories and jokes and poems and rhymes dancing around in his head but he has no way to post them on his beloved portal, what will become of him now, will I hear from him soon, did he keep my number, what good would that do? I don’t even know for sure what country he is in, how could I not know this? I wonder, does he have good shoes, socks? Is he warm, Ralphie is a very thin man. I wonder if busy people pass Ralphie and even fathom what a gentle soul he is and how brilliant his mind is or what a kind heart he has? They cannot know that he’s funny one minute and deeply spiritual the next, they cannot know. I should have at least found out what country he is in now, why didn’t I ask? He’s always joking but sometimes he’s very serious, he has sadness but his whole joy in life is to make people laugh. I’ve been too busy lately, I’m sorry Lil Ralphie. I miss you already. Hugs and Care. Gran.