Archive for April 24, 2012


Starting the Dear Kimmy Fanclub!


 

 

Kim Kardashian at the Seventh Annual Hollywood...

Kim Kardashian at the Seventh Annual Hollywood Life Magazine Awards. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I retract everything I wrote earlier about Miss Kim Kardashian! It’s not poor(?) Miss Kardashian’s fault that she’s simplicity challenged and that she can not hold on to a boyfriend or husband for more than a few days. And the fact that she couldn’t hold down a job, if her life depended on it is neither here nor there, ’cause she doesn’t need to! Furthermore, she has graciously promised the voters of that place somewhere that she’s going to Mayor(sic), that she will recompense all future damages done by her administration out of her own pocket! So there…

 

As a matter of fact, I’ve grown quite fond of dear Kimmy, since I’ve gotten to know her a bit better(the bribe did help though!), because she’s proven herself to be one lucky find for a writer cum blogger(no Kimmy, that’s not indecent!) such as myself. I’ve been instructed to write that the camel wasn’t nearly as much fun to be with as boyfriend number X, although it did have better table manners.

 

Miss K’s visit to India was cut short after the unfortunate elephant ride incident. She pertinently refused to ride one facing its behind and as it seemed to have two, this left her with no other option but to sit facing sideways, which she did not appreciate at all.

 

On the other hand, I do not like Mister Stephen Hawking so much these days, because I can not say: „Haha, Hawking, you got that wrong!“, when I haven’t got a clue what he’s on about in the first instance! You see, it’s not so easy to make fun of someone who is a tad smarter than you are.

 

But now to get back to dear Kimmy, as she is affectionately known to her friends. She has very sensibly hired me to write some pretticisms for her or lines that will show her as the lady about town that she really and truly, cross her heart and hope to die, is. Already she is showing her altruistic(yes, it’s true, Kimmy) self by providing a much-needed job to yours truly and to the prompter that has to hold up the idiot boards(cross out) reminder boards for her.

 

The first public tryout of the pretticisms got off to a rocky start, when Kimmy’s vanity forbade her from putting on her reading glasses in front of all those people. Miss Kardashian breaking down in sobs, when people started en mass reading her lines for her, did not help much. She left the scene after remonstrating loudly that they should not think they were smarter than her, just because they could read. Better luck next time, Kimmy!

 

Anyone willing to donate to the „Help Poor Kimmy Fund“ can do so via PayPal on this site(;-)).

 

About these ads

Tread gently now!

Shhttt!!! It’s a secret!


Lads, just out of curiosity,what do you think is the percentage of women, who after reading the title of this post, scrolled down to read it?

GOTCHA, LADIES!!!


Me encanta esa canción. ¡Su voz es una maravilla!

I love this song. Her voice is wonderful!


raburcke:

Another one of mankind’s achievements?’

Originally posted on Ann Novek--With the Sky as the Ceiling and the Heart Outdoors:

The Examiner2012-04-23:                      Coyotes are being seen more in towns, than in times gone by, as more wooded areas are demolished so that more residential or commercial areas can be created. Their habitats are being destroyed and man is surprised that they are looking for shelter, food and survival? On February 9, 2011, an article was published in the local newspaper, the Times-Register, about coyotes wandering free in Trophy Club, Texas. In this article, it was stated, ‘if you see a coyote approaching throw a rock at it.’ http://pd.dfw.com/sp?aff=1100&skin=&submit=Search&keywords=Coyotes+in+Trophy+Club&start=16 Upon reading this…                  more »

 

File:Coyote by Rebecca Richardson.jpgWikipedia

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Bob the Chicken – Joke.


Cover of "Bob"

Cover of Bob

Swiped this one from steve7000 on EP! <Click Here! for more>

Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber..

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Bob….’

Bob was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’

St.. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’

Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home…. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’

‘Not bad,’ replied Bob the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’

‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before? ‘

‘Never,’ said Bob.

‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal.’

Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell…..

BOB, wake up. You SH!T the bed!’

Shark – LOL


Boss, I’m late because I got run over by a shark on my way to work!

from Funny pics and other stuff

Crocodile Fun – LOL


Cut it out, I’m ticklish!

from Funny pics and other stuff

Teamwork Catz – LOL


You know, Bro, we could just crawl under!

from Funny pics and other stuff

Pool – LOL


Honey, it’s time to mow the pool again. What will the neighbours say!?

*
There is something lacking here, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh, I’ve got it: a lifeguard… or a goatherd… and some goats!?
*
Does your gardner wear a life jacket?
*
Our pool has all the trimmings. It doubles as a soccer field… and a chicken coop!

from Funny pics and other stuff

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