Ralphie´s Portal

Image by Martin LaBar via Flickr

I might be best to get this thingamosofickle bit out of the way first:

“In the beginning there was…”. Now I ask you? Re-dickless, isn´t it? Any three-year-old will immediately ask you: “And what came before the beginning??” Hunhh? Hunhh? When we´re talking about the universe and Bud there was never a beginning. Bud is omnipresent. This means He is literally everywhere. You don´t imagine Bud with holes in him, do you? He´s in every little nook and cranny of the whole of the universe. Which means there are no voids.

Which prat came up with the concept of ´nothing´? It doesn´t exist. Well, it does because he thought of it but it´s not real. Why? See all of the above. Anything, anywhere that ´is´, always was and always will be, in one state or another.  And it means something else aswell. Omnipresent means He was, is and always will be present. Along any timeline, forwards or backwards or sideways or any which ways.

Because of this we should not really speak of ´creation´as such, but more of a ´changing´. For the sake of expedience, however, we will use the verb ´to create´. To sum up: the universe is an ever-changing continuüm and Bud is the beginning, middle and end of it, all wrapped up in one. Just so you´d know: if anybody asks you where you´ve heard any of this, you can quote it as being “Stripture”, that is the whole truth, stripped down to the bare facts.

Bud has the soul of an artist and when he was taking one of his naps, he had a lovely dream. When he woke up, he decided to create a beautiful work of art, by singing it. He composed a wonderful, pulsating symphony of life, creating form and matter out of pure energy. And it took some doing, let me tell you.

Now about the nappies, the ALFs(Alternate Light Forms) insisted on them. One day Bud ate too many celestial beans. We all know what happens, after you eat too many beans. There are still parts of the universe where the ALFs say: “Whoah! It doesn´t half pong around here, mate.” And there are a lot of brown dwarfs around there. NO disrespect intended to anyone, who might be vertically challenged, I´m sure. We´re talking about astro-bodies. These are enormous blobs that hang around in space. NO disrespect intended to Bud, I´m sure.This is why some people believe in the theory of the ´Big Raspberry´.

Now that we´ve solved the riddle about the conundrum that was in a pickle because it was wrapped in a bun(that´s from Plato, you know), I should get this show on the road. But I´m not going to because I got sidetracked, I was bushwacked. But as bushwackers go, it was a very nice one, so I´m not bothered. I was thinking about love. A hundred million poets over the ages can´t all have been wrong. Love must be, is a very beautiful thing and it will show up in this book, in one form or another, quite often.

The problem is that we tend to forget it is there. We get so busy and make up all sorts of excuses for not having enough or not finding it, when all we have to do is take the time to enjoy it. I´m going to state the bleedin´obvous: Bud is love and Bud is everywhere. We are in the universe, so by the simple fact of being, we´re right smack in the middle of it. There´s no escaping it. All we have to do is remember it.

Please don´t take anything I write as the Gospel. In fact, I´d be rather annoyed, if you were to agree with me. I do like being contrary.

This is a series of stories, which are in sequence. You should start by reading the first one: Introducing Bud!

To view all the stories of the Holly Bbibble, just click on this name at the top of the site’s home page!