and…

The Story of Willie´s Garden.

Bud in his Sunday best!

Bud´s landscaping got off to a bit of a rocky start. He got the lakes, the rivers and the seas right. No problem with the hills, the valleys and the mountains. Most of the animals were ok. But wherever you looked everything was uniformly gray and spriggly bits were sticking out everywhere. Apparently, he´d planted all the flora upside down. The smell was horrendous, what with all the fertilizer.He wailed: “Where are all the beautiful colours and all the lovely scents?”.

I want to state here, for the record, that my list was perfectly alright. And this was not all. The earthworms, who were supposed to provide air for the roots with their tunneling, were climbing the trees. Some of them turned into snakes and some into salamanders. They had cold blood from being under the ground and out of the light all the time, which wasn´t normal. Bud had not intended for them to happen. And there´s more: the birds and the bees were head-butting the ground. Dogs were pissing all over themselves standing on their heads next to trees. And the bears just said: “Sod it! We´re going to sleep. Wake us up when you´ve sorted everything out. They weren´t stupid, still aren´t.

Bud thought he had the answer. He said:”Abraca-vice versa-est!”. Warning: Do NOT try this at home! But then we were all hanging upside down. The bats were very annoyed because they were getting dizzy. A-ny-way, it all got sorted out, in the end. The then Bud looked positively regal, magisterial, divine. And this was no divine comedy(hihi)! He had long, golden, wavy hair down to his heels and a big beautiful, bushy beard down to his toes. The only pink bits you could see were his nose and his four cheeks (front and back). And his right hand in which he held his staff. This staff had a ring at the top and in the middle of this ring were three globes: one orange(the divine colour), one green and one purple, in a triangle. This was the signal of his Bud-dom.

The Story of Willie´s Garden.

His next step was to create the crowning jewel of the garden, in his own image, namely the Prime Mates or the scientific term Homo Erectibus Hairybus. He wanted a bit of diversity and he decided on seven different shades. This was actually a test. He would see if they could find out how to work together, intermingle and produce an end result that combined all the good qualities in each one. The same principle of the sum equals more than the parts. For this he made moulds of a dozen each and he spray-painted them later. He then spat on them to give them life.

Ugh!

Image via Wikipedia

I shall give a short description of each shade:

The pale ones were all right but had a bit of a temper.

The red ones were in love with the garden, which was predominately green, their contrast and of course, opposites attract. They were content to sit with their bums in contact with their lover and be silent. The only thing they ever said was ´Ugh!´.

The black ones were beautiful and had a lot of ZING to them. They could hear the rhythm of the beating of Bud´s heart and were very fond of singing and dancing.

The yellow ones were the patient ones and smiled a lot. This was because one of them, called prince Sid, had actually met Bud.

The green ones were the lively ones, but they got lost in the forests. They can be seen and talked to, but only if you sit still for three thousand years and live on air and love.

The purple ones were the spiritual ones, but they fell into a hole in the sky, turned almost transparent and are also very difficult to spot. They can be seen only in a trance.

The orange ones were the keepers of the wisdom. They made a grave mistake, though. One day, they all decided to take a nap and entrusted the wisdom to the greens and the purples, half each. When they woke up, these two had disappeared and the wisdom was lost. This made them very sad and Bud wasn´t too happy either.

These Prime Mates, prime because they were important and the first ones, and mates because Bud liked them, attained a very high level of civilisation. They lived in harmony, invented interstellar travel and met and were friendly with the ALFs. For some reason, the universe is averse to long periods of bliss and yes, one day catastrophy struck: Bud and myself contracted a severe bout of alopecia and lost all our hair. Mine grew back in certain places, but Bud´s never did. He´s never been able to fully get over it.

Bud went to a dark corner and hid for ages and ages. He was depressed. In the mean time, the civilisation of the Prime Mates rose and then fell, as they inevitably do without divine supervision. When Bud finally got to the point where he could more or less take up his divine duties again, the P.M.´s had gotten back up the trees and were content eating bananas. So much for his crowning jewel. Something had to be done!

This is a series of stories, which are in sequence. You should start by reading the first one: Introducing Bud!

To view all the stories of the Holly Bbibble, just click on this name at the top of the site’s home page!